Dark Allure
by holliejinks
Summary: Elena is haunted by a traumatic night in her past that destroyed her and is driven by her obsession for revenge. Months of planning lead to the arrival of a dark stranger called Damon, who unknowingly provides her with just what she needs. Elena might just lose herself to the thing that she hates most, tempted by the dark allure of her maker...
1. Chapter 1

This was going to be too easy; the guy had walked straight into my trap.

"Who are you?" I whispered, my voice sounding weak with faux fear. It was a bitterly cold night and the flimsy nightdress I had opted for to help extricate my plan wasn't particularly insulating. The violent shaking of my body gave the perfect illusion of fear that I needed to pull off my part. There was a part of me that wanted to run inside and lock every window and door, but my determination to succeed was now paired with an overwhelming curiosity. I could see the man was dressed completely in black, but his face was hidden in the shadow of the forest and a burning desire took over me, drawing me closer to the creature I knew would be awaiting me in the darkness. The man suddenly stepped out into the light and my eyes widened at the sight of something completely unexpected.

I quickly fixed my composure and reminded myself to stay focused. It wasn't easy though; I hadn't been prepared for this. The man's face was flawless with a complexion that reminded me of the smooth surface of a moonstone, which was only made more breathtaking in the light of the moon. He had straight hair darker than the night sky and it was unruly and dishevelled as if he had just got out of bed. Looking at it I felt an overwhelming need to run my hands through it to see if it felt as soft and silky as it looked. His lips were the most sensual lips I had ever seen on a man and they beckoned me to taste them; embarrassingly I felt my heart begin to beat a little frantically. And then there were his eyes… my God his eyes. They were the biggest and most impossibly deep eyes that had ever been created; if God was real he had taken his time over these eyes. But what had me instantly breathless was the startlingly bright ice-blue colour of these magnificent eyes that were locked intensely with mine; they reminded me of diamonds. A smirk tugged at the corner of his alluring mouth and I cursed myself as I smiled back.

"Does it matter?" He said softly with a voice of luxurious velvet texture. He stepped closer to me and it was like an alarm going off in my head. I suddenly remembered exactly what I was supposed to be doing, so I tensed my muscles and held my breath so I appeared afraid. "Don't be frightened." He whispered, his voice a caress coaxing me to fall under his spell. He was only an inch or so away from me now and his luminous eyes were blazing into mine when I noticed his pupils dilating to encompass the beautiful diamonds into a black abyss. He was trying to compel me, but he had no idea that the bracelet on my wrist contained vervain to prevent such control. He rested his hands on my shoulders and an electric current struck through my body, knocking the oxygen from my chest. He must have felt it too because his carefully masked facial expression had been overtaken momentarily by surprise and astonishment, which he quickly recovered from. He shook his head quickly and straightened his shoulders and I frowned in confusion at what had just happened.

"Why are you here?" I asked in a shaky voice, no acting required with the heat that was now pulsating throughout my body. I had rehearsed what to say in my head for months, so even in my dazed state I was able to carry out my plan. I relaxed my legs and allowed my knees to buckle so that I began tumbling towards the ground. Just as I had foreseen, I suddenly found myself in the man's arms. I swallowed deeply as my gaze locked with the hypnotising eyes that were now so close to mine, willing myself to not be affected by their beauty.

"You're okay Elena, just tired. Can you invite me into your house so I can put you into bed?" He asked pleasantly, his voice making me feel a little tipsy. I was horrified by how I was reacting to this creature when I knew just how monstrous he was.

"Yes, you can take me inside." I whispered softly. I was repulsed by the idea of him inside my home, but if I was going to succeed then I needed to let him. "Tell me your name." I suddenly said before I could stop myself.

"Damon." For some mysterious reason, I felt my body shudder as he uttered this in his dark velvet voice.

As Damon lifted me and walked towards the porch a strange feeling of warmth and safety washed over me. I quickly shook it off though; I'd be damned if I ever allowed myself to give in to one of _them_.

Damon sat me down on my bed and then went to stand by the window, completely motionless. "Why are you here?" I whispered, pulling my knees to my chest to make me look small and vulnerable.

"I'm bad Elena. I kill people." He replied tonelessly.

I swallowed deeply and my heart began to race at his outburst; the way he spoke with such painful honesty made me almost feel sorry for him for some completely unknown reason. I clenched my fists in determination as I reminded myself of what he was and what his kind had done to me. "You wanted to kill me." I replied in the small voice of a frightened child. Though I was only seventeen, Damon had no idea what I was capable of after the past few months and that the voice I spoke in was no portrayal of the girl he was dealing with.

"I still do." His voice was cold and icy and I couldn't help the shiver that ran down my spine.

"No, if you really wanted to kill me then you would have already done it." I allowed my voice to take on a newfound strength as I felt the familiar rage beginning to bubble up inside me.

Suddenly I was pressed against the wall by Damon's warm lean body, my arms locked in his iron grip by my sides. I wanted to claw his eyes out. "Why are you doing this to me?" I whimpered, tears budding in my eyes now because my body hurt from the force that I had collided against the wall with. I had been training over the months to make me stronger because I knew the force they were capable of, but it seemed no amount of training would numb you from the pain they could inflict. God I hated them so much.

"It's just what I do. It's nothing personal." A wicked smile flashed across his face and I couldn't help but begin to struggle against his hold on me. I noticed now how his beauty and perfection made him even more monstrous and suddenly I hated myself for how attracted I was to his magnetism.

"Please just get it over with then. If I'm going to die, I'd rather it was quick." His hold was too strong for me to break as I had expected and there was no one here to help me, but I knew this was necessary for my plan. It was definitely risky. Either this was going to give me just what I needed or I was going to be dead, which wouldn't be such a bad thing to be honest.

"I'm not going to kill you. But there is something I want."

I bit down on my tongue to stop myself from smiling; my opinion of this man had very quickly transformed now that it seemed he was going to assist me. "What?" I whimpered, focusing on the pain in my body to disguise my triumph.

"Your blood." He whispered so softly that it felt like ice trickling down my spine. It was a strangely pleasant sensation and I felt almost excited for what was going to happen next. Maybe I really had gone mad like everyone had said. I had been making this plan for months and for it to finally be in action made me feel alive for the first time since that night. The anticipation was almost too much.

"Why would you want that?" I replied with fake confusion, making sure to play along until the end.

"Because I'm a vampire." He whispered in my ear. All of a sudden knives were piercing my neck and the pain was so excruciating that I didn't care if I had to break every bone in my body to escape. I had known that it would be painful, but I had never quite estimated that it would be so agonising that I wouldn't be able to focus on anything else. But as quickly as the pain had appeared it vanished and I began to feel warm as he groaned against my neck. His hands released mine as one moved to cup the back of my head holding it in place, whilst the other pressed against the small of my back to bring my body closer to his. It actually felt quite good. Every small gulp he took filled my body with a strange pleasure and it took everything I had not to moan. I had definitely not prepared for this. I tried to remind myself how much I despised vampires and how they had completely destroyed me, but my ability to think vanished as soon as Damon placed his thigh in between my legs.

Gradually I began to feel weaker and weaker, but I couldn't make myself fight him. Whilst on the brink of consciousness, drunk with pleasure, I felt him retract his fangs and lift me into his arms. My body was laid on something soft and I instantly drifted into the welcoming darkness that was sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

_The house was dark when I entered and there was an eerie silence that immediately put me on edge. My mum usually hugged me when I got home from school, even though I'd tried to tell her numerous times that I was sixteen now and I didn't like it, but today she didn't. Hearing muffled voices above me, I moved quietly towards the stairs using the railing for assistance in my anxious state. I bit down hard on my tongue to stop myself from screaming when a beam of sunlight revealed a smeared trail of blood along the wall. This was bad. Really bad._

_I tiptoed silently towards my parents' room where the noise was coming from and an overwhelming feeling of dread washed over me. The sounds of a violent struggle were combined with a muffled gurgling and I clamped my hand to my mouth as hot tears ran down my cheeks. I counted to ten to calm myself down knowing that I had to go in there and face whoever was doing this to my mother so I could stop them, but suddenly there was a loud and frightening snapping sound, followed by the thump of a body hitting the ground. I burst into the room to find my mother lying on the floor alone with her head contorted at a horrific angle that made me want to throw up. I fell to my knees and slowly crawled over to her, my hands becoming coated in her still warm red blood. I began stroking her long auburn hair from her face and leapt backwards when I noticed the blood that was smeared over her mouth and chin, the only fault to her otherwise perfect face. What in hell had happened to her? I curled up in a ball beside her body and took her hand in mine, hoping that if I fell asleep she would be alive when I woke up._

I flew into a sitting position, my heart beating frantically from the vivid memories of _that_ night. I shivered as a cold breeze blew against my damp, sweaty skin and I stared at the open window confused. My mouth formed an 'o' shape as the memories of last night entered my mind and my hand instantly went to my neck to search for the pair of wounds. A smile spread across my face when my fingertips found my skin to be unmarked and healed knowing that my plan had worked perfectly.

Oh what fun last night had turned out to be! That beautiful dark creature gave so much more than he received and he was completely and utterly oblivious. The poor guy had no idea what the repercussions of his little treat would be. He hadn't been able to see the dangerous and devious woman that lied just below the innocent little girl exterior I had put on. But he would do soon. I was going to need to visit him at some point to make sure he knew what he'd done. What _they_ had done. The excitement of what was to come was almost too much to bear.

I slid from my bed and stood in front of the mirror. My white nightdress had a thin trickle of blood down it that I traced with my finger, knowing that soon enough the entire garment would be glistening with the wet substance. My mahogany curls looked wild but beautiful and I couldn't help the glee that spread through me as I realised just how well all of this was coming together. During the past few months I had focused on making myself look beautiful, knowing that my female abilities would make all of this that much easier. I knew exactly how to manipulate a man so that I had him wrapped around my finger, practically begging me to let him assist me. I had spent enough time perfecting the necessary traits to get exactly what I wanted from people. I left no room for emotions. I was unrecognisable from before. Some people would say for the worst, but I would say for the better. Emotions made you weak and I was stronger than ever; no one would hurt me again.

I made my way downstairs and paused to look at the picture of my mother on the kitchen wall. She looked so beautiful and alive, her auburn hair spread around her on the picnic blanket. I clamped my teeth together and tensed my jaw in pure determination; I was doing this for her. I grabbed a knife from the worktop and lowered myself onto the cold marble floor, my view of my mother now blocked. I took a couple of deep breaths and then with a steady hand lifted the blade to my neck, quickly slicing through the rapidly pulsing carotid artery. Not being able to stop myself, I screamed in agony as blood spurted from the gash all over the white kitchen. I fell onto my side as my eyes slid shut of their own accord, and I didn't fight because they suddenly felt way too heavy to keep open. I began to gurgle as my mouth filled with blood and I felt the life quickly draining out of me. The darkness rapidly washed over me and just before I disappeared I called out. _I love you Mommy._

* * *

**Damon's POV**

Elena was laying on the magnificent king sized bed in one of the spare rooms of the boarding house, her slender arms resting on top of the silk charcoal sheets and her rich brown curls in a beautiful arrangement around her head. Her long, dark eyelashes cast a shadow on her perfect face, which looked peaceful and angelic in death. I touched my fingertips lightly to her flawless cheek, her olive skin glowing softly in the dull light of twilight. The silence of her heart and stillness of her chest felt wrong and it was infuriating. Fuck her for doing this! Why did I even bring her back here?

I walked across the room to stare out the window, not wanting to tear the girl to shreds in fury. Why in hell did she have to go and kill herself while she had my blood in her system? This was a shitty shitty day. Maybe I should just stake her? Then again it had been a while since I'd had someone to play with.

"What have you done?" I suddenly heard the outraged voice of my brother say from the doorway.

"Hello brother." I replied, irritated.

"What are you doing with her? Have you killed her?"

I turned around to see my brother perched on the side of the bed, his hand outstretched as if to touch her.

"She had my blood in her system and then killed herself, so I brought her here ready for when she wakes. The last thing we want is a vampire in transition going on a killing rampage; she'd blow our cover. Although since she is apparently suicidal anyway I'm pretty sure we don't need to worry about her." I explained indifferently.

"Damon, why did she have your blood in her system?" I could hear an annoying trace of warning in Stefan's voice and it made me wonder how long he was going to keep up this 'I am not a monster', 'I'm better than you', 'Where's your moral compass?' façade.

"I had some fun with her last night. She was like a feisty chew toy, and believe me she tasted simply divine. I'm sure you would have enjoyed her greatly. But I drank a little too much, since she was just so sweet, so I fed her my blood to make sure I wouldn't lose the chance to taste her again. What I obviously hadn't predicted was the craving she had for the other side." I recounted, not being able to resist the smirk that pulled at the corner of my mouth.

Stefan suddenly flew at me, but the idiot didn't stand a chance. I was too strong and fast for him to ever take me by surprise, thanks to his appetite of all things fluffy. "Really Steffy? Are we really going to do this?"

Stefan huffed and ran his hands through his hair, his brows pulled together into a deep frown. "She was just an innocent girl Damon! Look how young she is! Do you have no boundaries?" He yelled, his voice shaking in anger.

I rolled my eyes and sat in the armchair beside the heat of the blazing fire. "They're all the same to me. I'm not picky; I'll take whatever's going."

Stefan shook his head and sat back down beside Elena. I narrowed my eyes as I watched him trace the healing self-inflicted wound.

"Oh and Stefan, think next time before you decide to lunge at me. We both know I could break you in the blink of an eye. You lost that fight long ago. I wouldn't try it again." I said flatly, my eyes blazing.

* * *

**I would really appreciate it if I could get some feedback on this story, good or bad, because its my first one and I'd love to know what people think so I can make improvements! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

I felt strange and groggy as I began to resurface from my deep sleep, as if I had been under for a very long time. Hesitantly I opened my eyes, and then quickly shut them again. I thought I had seen someone, a man, but that wasn't possible; no one ever came to see me because I was _crazy_. I took a deep breath and reopened my eyes to see a man leaning over me. Sure enough, it was the same man that I thought I had seen less than a moment ago; he was real. He was very handsome, with soft green eyes and thick, chestnut hair. He had fair skin that looked soft and smooth. He seemed friendly and I felt strangely safe with the stranger. A small smile appeared on his face and he looked almost rueful as he stroked my head. Just as I was about to ask what was troubling him he stood and took a few steps away from me. I suddenly noticed that I was lying in a large four-poster bed with a silk sheet covering my bare body. The room was dark except for the moonlight that streamed through the floor-to-ceiling window on my right, which gave the green-eyed man the strange appearance of being half in light and half in shadow. I blinked up at him and noticed that he was staring into the darkness beside the window. I followed his gaze and my eyes snapped open as a figure stepped into the moonlight. A wicked smile transformed my whole appearance as I suddenly remembered just what was going on.

What had been a smirk on Damon's face suddenly became a confused frown. I laughed sweetly as I sat up, allowing the sheet to fall and pool around my hips. "Well isn't this a pleasant surprise." I drawled flirtatiously, a dangerous gleam in my eyes. "I wasn't expecting company."

"I think she might be in shock," The green-eyed man said, a deep-set frown comically matching the one on Damon's pretty face.

I smirked at him and rolled my eyes as I slid from the bed, not bothering to cover my naked body. I took no notice of the men's roaming eyes appreciating every inch of my toned figure; I was used to it now.

"Or perhaps delirious. She did kill herself after all." The man continued. He turned to Damon with a bewildered expression, but Damon seemed deep in thought.

"Aren't you going to say anything baby?" I asked Damon in a mocking tone, pouting my lips and twirling a ringlet around my finger. "You are the one who did this after all." I lifted an eyebrow in question as I walked over to him, my hips swaying seductively.

"You don't seem very upset by your failure at death." Damon muttered flatly.

I pressed my hand to my chest and gasped in mock horror. "Oh no, you're right! Oh what shall I do?" I joked in a pathetic needy voice. A smirk tugged at the corner of my mouth as arrogance overwhelmed me. He had fallen for it. He had believed I was a pathetic little girl that he could play around with. He had no idea what he started. All hell was going to break loose and the poor baby had no inclination what so ever. He had been the catalyst for my plan. I had out-manipulated the manipulator.

"Did you plan this?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

"What? Me? How could a measly little human ever do that?" I mocked, opening my eyes widely and fluttering my eyelashes.

A humourless laugh left Damon's lips as his mouth lifted into a dangerous smile. He was not pleased. "Well, yay for you! You're in transition!" He cheered with fake enthusiasm. Damon's eyebrows rose and his eyes widened as he pointed a finger upwards in a light bulb gesture. "Oh but wait! Hmm… how will you become a vampire if you can't feed? You'll need a human for that but… there don't seem to be any." He opened his arms gesturing to the lack of humans around him. "I guess you'll just have to wait out the slow twenty-four hours where your body gradually drains of any life it has left." He drawled smugly.

"Damon…" The green-eyed man warned suddenly as the door of the room swung open.

A wicked smile spread across my face at the sight of the sickly looking man stood in the doorway. Before anyone else had the chance to think I lurched for the man and bit down on his neck hard so that the skin broke and his thick life essence ran into my mouth. It was only a second before Damon pulled me off the man and threw me across the room, but it was all that I needed. I grabbed my bloody nightdress from the floor and dove through the glass window and fell to the ground, landing gracefully on my feet faster than the speed of light. I looked up to see the two vampires staring down at me in awe. "Bye boys." I muttered suggestively with a small wiggle of my fingers. A high pitched giggle escaped my lips as I sped off into the forest, my triumph sending a rush of adrenaline flooding through my body. I had done it. My plan was firmly set in motion.

This was only the beginning. God I was going to have fun!

* * *

I had been planning on going home and ordering take out so that I didn't have to go in search of someone to drink from, but with a stroke of luck I suddenly heard a loud thumping sound while coming to the edge of the forest. It was a heart… a strong, blood-pumping heart. A sharp aching settled in my throat as I caught the newly delicious coppery scent. Instinctively I began to sprint in the direction the scent had wafted from.

After a moment I stopped, a wicked smile spreading across my face in satisfaction. It was a young man, relatively handsome to my delight, walking his dog with a torch clasped in one hand. Poor thing would never see me coming. I slipped my nightdress back on and ran a hand through my hair before licking my lips ready to pounce. The wind blew sharply in my direction and the strong coppery scent filled my nostrils, giving me all the encouragement I needed. Without a moment's thought I threw myself at the man and knocked him to the floor so I was straddling him. I smirked at the surprised and fearful look on his face and it changed into a 250-kilowatt smile as I saw his expression change into one of satisfaction and delight. I rocked my hips against his and he groaned appreciatively. He was very quickly distracted and I sank my new razor-sharp fangs into the curve of his neck, piercing the skin and splitting the vein so that the warm coppery liquid flowed down my throat. I drank deeply, my hand clasped over his mouth to stop his screams and my thighs clamped tightly around him to prevent him from struggling. I kept my mouth fastened on the bleeding flesh and didn't let go until I had a pleasant satisfied feeling in my stomach. I climbed off him then and wiped the warm red liquid from my mouth with the back of my hand, my head lolled backwards while I revelled in the pleasure of his life essence pumping through my powerful new body.

Once I came down from my blood high I looked down at the empty carcass in disgust. Why didn't he contain more blood? I felt no remorse for ending his life. A monster had murdered my mother and if I was going to get revenge then I needed to become a monster myself. This man was simply a means to an end. Sure it was hypocritical of me, but nothing mattered to me other than seeing my plan through to the end. I could feel remorseful once I had succeeded. I thought for a moment about what I should do with the body, but then decided to just leave it; no doubt Damon or his green-eyed friend would clear him up anyway. Plus I needed to get home before sunrise so I could get the enchanted lapis lazuli ring my mother had told me about; it would stop me from being imprisoned in the darkness.

I ran home quickly and went immediately to my bedroom to reach for the wooden jewellery box I kept under my bed. I unlocked it with the key that had been hidden below my bedside table and took out the beautiful, dainty, silver ring with the pretty blue stone. I slipped it onto my finger and sighed as I pulled my nightdress over my head whilst walking into the bathroom. I desperately needed a shower after the whole stabbing debacle; the dried blood on my neck and chest was itchy and uncomfortable. Plus, showers always helped me to think and I really needed to work out what my next move needed to be. It was stupid to think that I wouldn't come across any difficulties with Damon. My looks and my charm were definitely going to help, but I could sense he was stubborn and would fight the urge to give in to me as if his life depended on it. It was a good thing I liked playing games because this one was certainly going to be a challenge. Of course I still had his green-eyed friend to play with; he looked like he could be easily manipulated. Maybe I'll even play them against each other; my powers of seduction could do wondrous things to men. I'd reward them when they gave me what I needed, but if not then life was going to become… difficult, for them.

After my shower I walked back into my room and slipped into a matching pair of lacy black underwear. I slipped a small, black silk robe around myself and sat down at my vanity unit. I applied my make up carefully, making sure to achieve the perfect seductive smoky eye effect and putting a sexy, dark red on my lips. I pulled a brush through my hair and got to work on my curls, making sure each was a perfect ringlet. I admired my reflection afterwards, noting that I looked like the perfect creature of darkness. "If you'd come a little earlier you could have joined me in the shower." I said with a smirk, looking beneath my long eyelashes at Damon's reflection in the mirror.

"You are a piece of work aren't you? You're nothing more than a slut, hurling your body about to manipulate people." He said flatly, although I noticed a trace of the bitterness he was feeling seep into his voice.

"Ouch, you wound me sir." I mocked with a pout. I stood up from my stall and turned to walk towards him. I prodded a finger into his chest and began to circle him, my finger trailing across his body as I went. "So, when you so kindly came to visit me last night you never used that pretty face or those dazzling eyes or that delicious mouth to try and entice me into your arms?" I stopped just in front of him and began to whisper into his ear seductively. "When you pressed that muscular thigh of yours in between mine in such an intimate way, you weren't doing it simply to help you get what you wanted?" I backed away from Damon then and giggled at his parted lips and laboured breathing.

"Why did you want me to turn you?" Damon asked without looking at me, his hands clenched tightly into fists.

"Oh you know… for fun mostly…" I drawled as I slowly rolled my eyes and faked a yawn.

Suddenly I was pressed against the vanity unit, Damon's face looming over me. His visage changed into its monstrous form and I bit back the urge to claw at the prominent red veins around his eyes. The realisation that that was how I really looked now too was repulsive, but I had accepted long ago that it was what I had to live with in order to succeed in my plans. "Don't mess with me little girl, I could kill you before you even got the chance to form a thought. I'm older than you, so I'm stronger than you. You'd do well to remember that next time you try to play games with me." He hissed with his fangs bared.

I smiled sweetly at him and frowned slightly with exertion as I pushed him from me. "Oh but I like playing games." I whined at him with a pout. "Are you too afraid to play with me Damon?" I asked raising an eyebrow at him. "I'm sure you would have happily played with me last night when I was the cute, little submissive Elena. Why won't you play with me now?"

Damon shook his head in frustration and walked towards my open window. "I don't have time for games, but this is far from over. I will find out what you're up to whether you are compliant or not." He said in a strong, authoritative voice.

"I'll look forward to it." I whispered darkly with a smirk, placing a hand on my hip to shift some silk so more of my body would be revealed to him. Despite his best attempts, I saw Damon's eyes drop and heard him gulp before turning around and disappearing out the window.

* * *

**Damon's POV**

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe _her._ She was possibly even worse than me! She was a manipulative, cold-hearted bitch and she did everything in her power to make those around her squirm under her heated gaze. I'd never met a woman like her before. How on earth had she fooled me last night? How could I ever believe that she could be a sweet and innocent little girl? Now I knew I was a dick, but I had over a century's worth of rejection and daddy issues to blame that on. What the hell had happened to this girl to make her so royally fucked up? She had killed that bastard in the forest with no hesitation at all and he had been her first kill. She was being driven by something she wanted badly enough that she was completely consumed in her need for it. All I needed to do was to figure out what it was… then she'd be putty in my hands. If there was one thing I knew about cold-hearted people, it was that not far below their carefully masked exterior they were weak and broken. Once I found her Achilles' heel it wouldn't take long to break her. I knew vampires could turn their humanity off, but it seemed that whatever it was that had their claws so deeply sunk into Elena, had made her turn if off long before then. It was an understatement to say I was intrigued; I loved a challenge.

* * *

**Soooo there is chapter 3! I know this is the second update today, but I just couldn't resist! I'd really appreciate some reviews if any of you have the time because I'd love to know your opinions on it! It's my first one so I'm not really sure what I'm doing and whether anyone actually likes it :P Thanks for spending the time to read it so far though!**


	4. Chapter 4

It didn't take me long to realise that I had underestimated how powerful the bloodlust was going to be and by late that evening I was ravishing. I sat in the corner of my kitchen on the blood stained floor, stabbing a knife deep into my thigh repeatedly. My hope was that the pain would stop the hunger, but it was to no avail. I whimpered at the burning in my throat and smacked my head hard against the kitchen cupboard.

"Are you sure you weren't trying to kill yourself last night?" I heard a familiar voice say.

I looked up with a grimace, but my face softened slightly when I noticed it was the green-eyed man and not Damon. I threw the knife across the room so it wedged itself into the wall and stood up to face him properly. "So what's your name?" I asked, a smirk tugging at the corner of my mouth despite my foul mood. I prodded a finger into his chest and tilted my head to the side with a cute flutter of my eyelashes.

The man chuckled softly and shook his head. "My my, you are going to be a handful. I found it difficult to believe what Damon told me about you earlier, but I'm beginning to believe that he was right about your charming ways. My name is Stefan. I'm Damon's brother."

I cupped Stefan's cheek in one hand and brushed my thumb across the defined cheekbone. To my delight I noticed his eyelids flutter for a moment as he fought the urge to close them and lean into my touch. "I find it hard to believe you could ever be related to _him_. You're so much nicer and so much more fun." I said sweetly, giddy on the inside about my secondary plans of turning the two brothers against each other; I might as well have some fun while playing my part and oh how I loved to play.

Stefan laughed at the pout that appeared on my lips when he removed my hand from his cheek. "You must be getting hungry, what with being a newborn and all." He said kindly, his eyes full of understanding.

He seemed so sincere that I almost felt bad for manipulating him, but then I remembered what he was and it was just what I needed to clear my head and focus on what I was doing here. "Stefan I'm absolutely _starving._ Please tell me you've got a snack waiting for me somewhere?" I asked in a pleading voice using my best puppy dog eyes on him.

"Come with me. I want to show you an alternative to the typical vampire diet." He enthused, grabbing hold of my hand and pulling me through the house and out towards the forest.

* * *

"Really Stefan? You expect me to eat a bunny?" I asked with my eyebrows raised. I had no interest in going on some animal diet; I needed to be strong God damn it. I looked at the bunny that was struggling in his hand and shook my head in frustration.

"Just try it Elena! You won't have to hurt people! You won't have to feel that heart-wrenching guilt!" Stefan pleaded.

A smirk spread across my face as an idea popped into my head. I stood fully erect and began to walk seductively towards him, my hips swinging and my gaze fixed intensely with his. I saw him gulp as I reached him and pulled his arm towards my mouth. Unfortunately for Stefan, it came as a bit of a shock when my sharp fangs sunk into his wrist and not into the bunny's neck as he'd been expecting. I was very unnecessarily rough to make sure that it was by no means pleasurable and I laughed as he threw me off him. Landing on my back, I began rolling around on the floor in a fit of giggles until he stood towering over me.

"What the fuck was that?" He snapped at me whilst trying to retain his visage.

I bit down on my lip seductively and slowly opened my legs as my eyelids drooped half closed. I heard him swallow loudly and begin to breathe heavier as he looked upon my wanton position. He opened his mouth to speak but then closed it again, obviously at a loss for words at the strange turn of events. I shot to my feet as quick as lightning and put my lips against the shell of his ear. "It was a nice idea Steffy, but I'm afraid I'm just not that kind of girl. Feel free to drop by whenever you want, I'd love to play again sometime." I whispered in a voice that was laced with sexual promises. I ran a finger down his chest to the waistband of his jeans until he shivered, then I turned and sped towards the boarding house.

I felt better after a couple of gulps of Stefan's blood but it was far from enough. I knew there was a human at the boarding house, so it seemed the most logical place to go. There were too many possible witnesses in the centre of Mystic Falls, but at the boarding house no one would be able to hear anything except Stefan and Damon. This would be far too entertaining.

* * *

When I entered the boarding house it seemed like no one was there, but my vampire senses told me otherwise. I could hear the incessant beating of his juicy heart and smell the delicious flow of my favourite potent elixir from downstairs. I walked slowly up the wooden staircase, loving the feeling of anticipation building deep within me. I stood behind a big wooden door, my body shaking with a desire and need that I had never fully experienced before. I pushed the door opened softly and slipped inside the room to find the same man from earlier sat in an arm chair in front of a blazing fire.

"Hi, I'm Zach." The man said as he stood up with a friendly smile.

I smiled back at him sweetly, amused by the fact that he was acting so kindly to the monster that attacked him less than twenty-four hours ago; they must have compelled him to forget. "I'm Elena." I purred before gracefully pouncing on him with cat-like grace. I straddled him in the armchair and stared intently into his eyes. "You won't move and you won't make a sound. Once I'm finished you'll forget that any of this ever happened." I said confidently, my pupils dilating to absorb my chocolate brown irises. Zach nodded at me and I savagely sunk my fangs into his neck. I moaned into the soft flesh and began grinding my hips against him in my blissful state. I felt him getting weak and I was beginning to wonder if I really cared about keeping him alive. My dark paradise was shattered when I heard someone behind me clearing his throat. I extracted my fangs from Zach's neck and stood up, wiping the warm liquid from my mouth with the back of my hand. "What?" I asked Damon with a roll of my eyes.

"That's my forty year old uncle you were just humping. Do you really have no standards?" He replied with a smirk.

"Look baby, I was hungry and then I got kind of horny, so I used him as a bit of a scratching post. Although, if you'd care to lend me a hand I'd happily accept." I replied suggestively whilst looking the beautiful vampire up and down appreciatively.

Suddenly my back collided painfully with the hard wooden wall and Damon was pressing his body firmly into mine. "That's more like it." I whispered breathlessly as I lifted my leg so I could rub the inside of my thigh against his hip.

"If you try to kill my uncle again, I'll stake you." He said in a threatening voice, his heated gaze piercing into mine with intensity. I could taste his sweet breath on my tongue and I parted my lips slightly as his fingertips ran along the length of my thigh.

"I'm surprised you haven't done that already." I replied with laboured breathing, my back arching so my chest was pressed even tighter to his.

"So am I." He said indifferently as he suddenly stepped out of the embrace and walked over to Zach.

I watched with my head tilted to the side as Damon bit into his own wrist and fed his uncle the powerful substance.

"What's she done now?" I snapped my head up to see Stefan stood horrified in the doorway. I bit down hard on my bottom lip to suppress the giggle that was threatening to escape my lips.

"She just had a little fun with Zach, don't worry about it." Damon said coolly.

"Don't worry about it? He could have died! Don't you give a damn?" Stefan shouted at his brother.

"Look brother, its nothing I haven't done before so I can't judge. Although I'm pretty sure Zach preferred little Elena's attention more than he ever enjoyed mine, so I fail to see the problem. He should be thankful; he hasn't got any in a while." Damon added as he pushed Zach back in the chair and pulled the black sleeve of his shirt down. "What's she done to piss you off then? You kept insisting on giving her a chance earlier."

"I tried to encourage her to try drinking from animals, but-," Stefan's eyes narrowed at his brother when Damon started laughing. "Don't start Damon!" He shouted crossly.

"Sorry. Sorry. Carry on with your story, please. It's _so_ interesting." Damon said sarcastically whilst trying to calm himself down.

"She approached me as if to bite the rabbit I had in my hand, but she bit me instead!" Stefan explained pulling up the stained blue sleeve and gestured to the dried blood; there was no wound of course because it had already healed.

Damon's eyes opened widely as if they were about to pop out of his head and he swung round to face me in astonishment. I smirked at him proudly as I saw the respect radiate from him at my devious act. "Hmm… how about that." He quipped with a devilish smirk plastered on his handsome face.

"Oh terrific!" Stefan exclaimed, throwing his arms into the air dramatically. "I should have known you'd be so easily tempted by her. She's a conniving bitch, don't be so stupid as to fall for it." Stefan muttered as he left the room.

The smirk on Damon's face fell then and he narrowed his eyes at me. "Look, I have a new-found appreciation for you for biting Stefan like that, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten about anything. I know you're up to something and I know my brother and I are part of this intricate plan you've got yourself caught up in, but I'll be damned if I let you manipulate me. You may think you're clever and strong, but sweetie I've got 130 years on you, so don't even try to test me because I will win every time." He warned in a flat voice.

"That's awfully arrogant coming from the man who was fooled into turning me a day ago." I teased with one eyebrow raised in question.

A growl erupted from deep inside Damon's chest and the smirk fell from my face. While I wasn't afraid of him, I still knew if he was angry he could snap me like a twig, no problem. "I think it's time for you to leave." He hissed, trying his best to contain his anger.

I nodded to him and walked towards the door, pausing quickly to press a kiss to his jaw before leaving. I heard his sharp intake of breath and I smirked as I walked away from the room; the poor guy didn't stand a chance.


	5. Chapter 5

**Damon's POV**

What the hell was I doing here? I could be getting laid right now for God's sake! I was hungry, but the only blood I wanted was Elena's and she had seen to it that I wouldn't get to taste her twice. I shook my head in frustration as I watched her sleep peacefully; I wanted to be angry at her but it was damn difficult when she looked so innocent. My mouth twitched into a small smile as I saw a deep frown form on her pretty face, wondering what she was dreaming about.

"No Mommy!" She wailed all of a sudden, her body twisting in the sheets as if she was in agony.

I leapt to my feet and instinctively moved to help her; I still hadn't managed to completely diminish my 19th century gentlemanly behaviour. "Elena." I whispered. I lifted my hand towards her face but then pulled back, unsure of how she would react in this hysterical state. My chest tightened as I noticed the tears that were rolling down her face and I quickly shook myself; I didn't like or trust this girl, I reminded myself sternly. I stared at her face intently as I invaded her mind to remove the nightmares and replace them with dreams of ice-blue eyes and raven black hair. "Good night Elena." I murmured as I tucked a stray curl behind her ear.

* * *

**Elena's POV**

_"Where's Daddy?" I sobbed breathlessly, my skinny arms clung tightly around my mother's bloody neck._

_"It's okay baby." My mother shushed as she rocked me back and forth, tears streaming silently down her cheeks. "He's gone now. We're safe. We're safe." She cooed softly in my ear._

_"Bu- But he just disappeared! Where did he go?" I hiccupped as I scrubbed my tears away with my fists._

_"A long way from here. He won't ever hurt us again, I promise." Despite her tears my mother managed to form a smile, but I knew she was frightened because I could feel her body shiver even though it was a horribly hot evening. "Elena I need you to promise me something." She said suddenly, her voice severe and her hands clasping mine too tightly._

_Afraid of the immediacy and desperation she enthused I simply nodded my head, making sure to listen very carefully._

_"If you ever come home and you can hear something bad happening to me in here, promise me that you won't come in? Promise me that you will run until you can't run anymore?" _

_"I promise Mommy." I whispered with a hiccup._

_My mother nodded and her shoulders slumped as if she was suddenly very tired. I screamed as her body fell limp to the side, jumping quickly off her and covering my eyes with my tiny hands._

_"Mommy?" I called quietly, too afraid to open my eyes. I got no response. I peaked between my fingers to see my mother lying in the foetal position, blood dripping rhythmically from her nose. "No Mommy!" I called as I ran to her and began shaking her shoulders. "Don't leave me Mommy. I don't want to be alone. I'm scared of the dark. Please don't leave me alone in the dark." I begged as I began to sob, digging my nails into her shoulders until my fingertips came away wet with blood._

_My mother opened her eyes weakly at me and smiled. "Ring Nanny baby. Be a good girl and get Mommy some help." She murmured in a voice that barely passed as a whisper. I nodded frantically and ran to the bedside table, shivering as I heard a horrible gurgling sound leave my mother's mouth._

_"Elena…" I heard a strange voice whisper. I was confused; I recognised that voice but it didn't belong here. Was I dreaming? Suddenly everything shifted and I was lying on my back in a meadow of poppies. I gasped as Damon's face appeared above me, the corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk as he bent his head down. My back arched as I felt his lips at my neck, his tongue laving the tender skin. I groaned and lifted my hips to meet his. _

_"Bite me." I whispered breathlessly._

_Damon chuckled against my flesh and I shuddered as it sent vibrations along my skin. I screamed as I felt the intrusion of his sharp fangs into the sensitive skin at the curve of my neck, but they quickly changed to moans as waves of pleasure crashed through my body with every gulp he took. I ripped the shirt from his back and flipped us both over, straddling him with my fangs bared. Damon's eyes flew open at my overt declaration of dominance and I smirked as I rolled my hips against his until I heard him whimper. "I'm going to ruin you." I whispered seductively in his ear before sinking my fangs into his neck and clawing down his chest._

* * *

I woke up shaking from my heated dream, a thin layer of sweat coating my body. I ran a hand through my bouncy curls as I sat up and brought my knees tightly against my chest. How did all this happen to me? What happened to the little girl from my dream?

_He happened,_ I thought bitterly.

I slid from my bed, anger rolling off me in waves as I made my way into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth quickly and splashed some cold water on my face to help myself calm down. I gripped tightly on the sink as I watched my visage change in the bathroom mirror and I couldn't resist snaring at the creature that was my reflection. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks as I stared at the bloodthirsty demon with her fangs bared and her eyes stormy; it was all _his _fault.

I quickly changed into a pair of tight black jeans and a midnight blue camisole, sliding my feet into a pair of black stilettos. With my sultry make up on, dark clothing and deadly expression I looked terrifying. The power I felt flowing through me was frightening because in this mood I knew it wouldn't take much to make me snap; I was a hazard to anyone stupid enough to approach me. Unfortunately my childhood crush was stood on my porch as I left the house, staring down at me like an excited puppy getting a treat.

"I haven't seen you out the house in months Elena! How are you? We've all been so worried about you." Matt enthused as he pulled the daily paper from his satchel to hand me.

I glared at the too sweet, typical boy-next-door guy that was stood in front of me and grinded my teeth together in an attempt to not lash out.

"Elena is everything okay? You look kind of weird." Matt said with a concerned frown.

Using my vampire speed I moved to stand uncomfortably close to my old friend. "You won't remember any of this. You will tell everyone that you're a klutz and that you slipped down the porch steps. You never saw me." I said confidently as my brown orbs faded into black nothingness.

Matt nodded in response and I flashed a bitter smile at him; I had loved him to pieces once, just like the rest of my friends, but after everything happened I couldn't stand to have any reminders of how things used to be. Without a moment's hesitation I grabbed hold of my best friend's arm and flipped him onto his back with no more than a flick of my wrist. "Stupid lovesick fool." I muttered as I stepped over his body and walked towards my car. "As if you could ever help me. I'm already in hell." I whispered as I slid swiftly into the shiny, new vehicle I'd stolen the day before; Damon and Stefan probably wouldn't even notice it was missing.

* * *

As soon as I stepped out of the car I found myself smacked harshly against it's solid exterior. "Give a girl a break. I only just got here." I whined, rolling my eyes at Damon's seething expression.

"That's my car! It's vintage!" He yelled as he hurled my body back against it.

"If you're not careful it's going to be a vintage car with my sexy body imprinted into it. Stop stressing." I muttered as I shoved him aside and sauntered into the boarding house. "Besides, I'm not the one who should be getting yelled at here." I said cynically as I span round to face him, knowing he'd be directly behind me.

A smirk tugged at the corner of his perfect mouth, his eyes gleaming with mischief. I tried to ignore the tingling I could feel between my legs from his close proximity and placed a hand on my hip in a casual gesture.

"Ah, so you enjoyed the little dream I gave you then." He smarted with a wink.

"Were you watching me sleep?" I replied with a cocky grin.

Damon's face dropped and he narrowed his fiery eyes at me. "I was hoping to pick some information from your head in your sleep so I knew what you were up to, but you just kept screaming for your 'Mommy' and it was getting tiresome." Damon snapped unkindly, the quotation marks evident in his sour tone.

I pushed against his chest firmly with the heels of my hands, catching him by surprise and sending him hurling across the room until he collided against the wall with a thundering smack. Adrenaline shot through my body at the sound of his ribs snapping beneath the iron-strength of my hands and I followed him across the room, catching him forcefully in a chokehold. "Where are all the others?" I snapped, my voice icy and frightening even to my ears.

Damon's eyes were wide at first in astonishment, but he soon composed himself and wrenched my hands from his neck. "What the fuck are you talking about?" He shouted as he held me tightly against him, our noses only a hair's width apart.

"I know there are other vampires in Mystic Falls Damon and I need you to tell me where they are. I'm not in the mood to play games today." I growled at him, my laboured breathing making my chest pound against his; I didn't even need to breathe but for some reason I was gasping.

All of a sudden Damon was pressing me into the polished wooden floor and I could feel every inch of his lean body against mine. I couldn't help but notice how he had placed a knee between mine so that my legs were parted. "But what if I am?" He challenged darkly, his lips brushing my cheek as his breath tickled the shell of my ear. He pulled his head back unhurriedly and rested his forehead against mine so that he could fix me with his stare. I hated him. I _despised _him. I was the one in control here not him!

Damon leapt to his feet at the sound of Stefan entering the room, his presence breaking the near-unbearable tension between the two of us. Stefan's eyes narrowed as he took in his dishevelled brother and my unladylike position that seemed to be all too familiar. If I wasn't careful Stefan would lose interest in me, and that would be no fun at all!

"Stefan just in time." I whispered seductively as I rolled to my feet in one fluid motion. "Your brother is being quite the scoundrel and is refusing to help a lady in her time of need." I said whilst pouting prettily with my hands on my hips.

"Well, Damon isn't exactly known for his charity." Stefan stated dismissively.

I felt a strange pang at the way Stefan had put his brother down and I could feel Damon tense at the comment. It seemed that it would take very little to cause conflict here. Excellent. Even so, Damon was doing a very good job at hiding his response to the stab; he had a perfect poker face, except for the stubborn set of his jaw. "Well, it looks like you're the one for me then." I said sweetly as I crossed the room and took hold of Stefan's hand.

I turned to wink at Damon over my shoulder as I left, but the rigid look on his handsome face stopped me. He was hurt and that was what I wanted, but something about it didn't feel right. There was something going on here that I didn't know about; I could sense it with every fibre of my being.

* * *

As I sat down on Stefan's bed, faintly listening to him drone on about various matters of little to no importance, I promised myself that I'd visit the elder Salvatore brother later that evening. It was unfair to distribute my attention unequally. My boys deserved their fair share. And besides, I was intrigued to see where he'd take us this time. My charms were working on him and he didn't like the lack of control he had around me; it was evident from the way he kept lashing out when I tested him. Unfortunately, Damon seemed to be the one person that could get my own blood flowing. I was going to have to tread very carefully here if I wanted to succeed. Failure was not something I was willing to accept and I wouldn't allow one of _them_ to be my downfall; my mother deserved more than that.

* * *

**I'm so happy with the response I've gotten from this story and I hope you all like it because I'm really enjoying writing it! I know this is the second update today, but I didn't want to wait until tomorrow.**

**Please review if you have time; I'd love to hear any suggestions on how I could improve or what direction you want the story to head in :) **

**Have a wonderful day lovely people! x**


	6. Chapter 6

I leant against the entrance of the parlor, my face twisted into a frown as I contemplated the scene before me. Damon was sat in a burnt orange armchair by the blazing fire, his elbows resting on his knees as he nursed a tumbler of bourbon. His hair looked unkempt, as if he had ran his hands through it too many times during the day, and the black sleeves of his button down were rolled up to his elbows. I could see the tension in his back and I couldn't help but wonder what had happened to this man. He didn't seem like a monster. I couldn't help but think of him as anything more than a lost soul, desperately searching for some unknown purpose to his ongoing existence. It had to be lonely.

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes." I flirted with a smirk, adamant on not diverting from the plan.

Damon peered at me over his shoulder briefly and then swirled the amber liquid around the glass before draining it in one gulp. "Bored with Stefan already are we?" He muttered resentfully.

"Ah ah ah!" I said with my eyebrows raised, gesturing to my ear and the floor above to remind him that we weren't alone.

Damon rolled his eyes at me as he stood and sauntered over to his alcohol cabinet to pour himself another glass. I waltzed over to him and snatched the tumbler from beneath him, consuming it in one swing. Damon huffed as he got another tumbler from the cabinet, seemingly too tired to play games with me.

"Are we not feeling our best my love?" I cooed as I approached him from behind and slid my hands up his back to rest on his shoulders. Damon tensed for a moment but then allowed his head to loll back slightly as I began to knead the muscles with my thumbs. "Something seems to have gotten you all worked up now doesn't it?" I murmured seductively in his ear before gently trapping his earlobe between my blunt teeth and tugging slightly.

A soft moan escaped Damon's lips that wouldn't have been picked up by ordinary human ears, but was heard loud and clear by me. "Elena, I know what you're doing and I'm not going to fall for it. I've been where you are; all these moves are nothing if not familiar. How about you stop before someone gets hurt?" He warned softly.

"But that's just it Damon, someone _needs_ to get hurt. I know what I'm doing here and I'm not going to back down. You can try and stop me all you want. By all means, kill me if that's what you want to do. See if I care. I'm in this to win Damon, even if I have to die trying." I whispered before placing a quick kiss below his ear and disappearing from the boarding house.

* * *

I parked my car in the lot outside of the Mystic Grill, leaning against the bonnet and listening intently for a sign of someone calling it a night. I giggled sadistically as I saw a cute senior from school exit the hangout and look directly at me. I smirked at the boy and gestured with a nod of my head to meet me in the alleyway beside the grill. The idiot looked all too happy at what he thought was a positive turn of events. I sauntered deep into the alleyway so that we'd be hidden in the shadows and leant against the wall with a playful look on my face. The boy was tanned a soft golden brown and had short mousy blonde hair; he was cute, but I struggled to look at him as anything more than my dinner. To his delight, I grabbed him by the collar and pressed him forcefully against the wall before pressing my body to fit snugly into his. I giggled at the rapid pace of his now racing heart and let my hand drift down to graze his arousal. God, it was way too easy to catch a quick meal around here!

"Wow, you sure do know what you want don't you babe?" The guy chuckled breathlessly.

I stopped my exploration of his body at this and stepped away from him, my face transforming to show my true nature. The tanned boy opened his mouth to scream but I clasped my hand around his neck and pinned him to the wall so he couldn't breathe, let alone make a sound. "Right, now that I have your attention and you know who is in charge. You're not going to remember any of this. You're not going to move. You're not going to make a sound. You're not going to enjoy this. You're going to be in pain. If I let you live, then you're going to stay in bed for a few days and tell everyone you have the flu." I snapped as I watched him bend to my will. The boy stopped struggling immediately and I dropped him to his feet with a sweet smile. I wrapped my arms around his sweaty neck and sank my fangs messily into the carotid artery, moaning loudly with satisfaction as the potent elixir slid down my throat and soothed the incessant burning that had been bothering me all day. I wrapped a leg around his waist and began to grind against him to relieve the fiery sensation that hadn't left my body since Damon's attack this morning. Damn him for doing this to me!

I immediately froze as I felt a hand slide along the thigh that was wrapped around my victim's waist, certain that it couldn't be him feeling me up; I'd compelled him. "Don't stop. I've got you." Damon's voice sounded softly in my ear as a warm muscular body came flush against mine, surrounding me in a protective and intimate embrace.

I moaned as the hot, coppery liquid began running down my throat again and I became very aware of Damon's presence as his fangs began scraping teasingly at my throat. I removed an arm from my victim and wrapped it around the back of Damon's neck, pulling him closer in the hope that he'd bite me. Without warning I found myself thrown against the opposite wall, blood dripping from my bared fangs and down my chin. Damon had his wrist pressed to the boy's mouth, curing him the same we he had Zach only the day before.

"What the hell?" I spat at him, my body feeling like a live wire. "I hadn't finished!"

"Yes you had. You're not hungry now, you're just being greedy." He replied arrogantly.

I lurched myself at him but he easily tossed me aside, a look of annoyance painted on his handsome face. "Why didn't you just stop me before then?" I asked, grinding my teeth together with restraint; I _hated _him.

"Because you needed more. You would have just gone to get more from someone else otherwise. At least this way I could make sure you weren't dumping bodies into trashcans." He let the boy's body drop to the floor and turned to look me directly in the eyes.

"Oh I'm sorry baby, I was being selfish! You look like you could have done with a bite." I teased with a devilish smirk, as I touched my fingertips to his cheek. "His blood was plenty tasty."

"I ate earlier and thanks to you, the blood I'm craving for is no longer in stock." He muttered bitterly before turning round to saunter out the alleyway and disappear into the night.

I closed my eyes and sank to the floor beside the body of my victim. He was talking about _my _blood, wasn't he? He'd never planned to just hurt me once; he would have hurt me again and again and again, until he got bored and killed me. It's because he was one of _them. _And now I was too.

It sickened me to think that I was following in his footsteps. But I knew everything I was doing was for a purpose. I needed to stick to my plan. I was a monster because I needed to be. There was no other option and I had accepted that a long time ago. My mother needed me to do this and I couldn't disappoint her. I couldn't let myself be distracted by Damon and Stefan, and they needed to know that I wouldn't accept them pushing me around. I wanted information from them to lead me closer to _him_, but I wasn't prepared to become their plaything in order to get it.

I stood up and took a deep breath to clear my head; I knew just how to send my boys the message. I stepped out from the alleyway and smiled callously as I watched a group of friends walk towards me.

"Look it's Elena!" I heard one of them exclaim.

I rolled my eyes as I closed in on them; I'd never liked these bitches. It took me all of two seconds to snap every one of their five necks and I stared down at their carcasses heartlessly. "There, that should do it." I muttered flatly as I turned to walk back to my car. _I can do a lot worse than dumping bodies into trashcans_ _Damon_, I thought smugly.

I ignored the screams that I heard as people left the bar, knowing no one would ever expect a pretty little thing like me to do it. I slid into my car leisurely and drove from the lot, watching the crowd of horrified onlookers growing rapidly in my rear-view mirror. Damon was going to regret taking away my meal before I was finished. I may not have needed any more blood to sustain me, but I definitely hadn't been finished. I needed to get stronger and that meant a _lot _more blood. I needed the kind of amount that couldn't be found in a little town like this without completely depopulating the place. I needed to go on a killing spree in a place where no one would even notice my victims were missing and I knew just where to go.

I was going to New York.

* * *

**Thank you so much to all the people that reviewed, followed and favourited my story! It means more to me than I can express :) **

**I hope you liked this chapter; I love all the Damon/Elena heated moments! Feel free to tell me what you think and give me any suggestions on future chapters! x**


	7. Chapter 7

**Damon's POV**

It had been two weeks since the bitch had disappeared and I would have been happy to see the back of her, but Stefan's latest obsession over her trail of bodies was making it difficult.

"Another five bodies have been found already!" Stefan exclaimed as he strutted into the parlour, a self-righteous look on his miserable face.

I rolled my eyes and took a swig of the bottle of bourbon; I had lost patience with refilling my glasses over the past couple of days. "She's consistent, you have to give her that." I remarked as I stared absorbedly into the blazing fire. Each day the death toll got higher, yet Stefan still seemed shocked each time there was an update.

"We have to stop her." Stefan murmured from close behind.

"She's lashing out, trying to prove a point. She'll be home soon enough." I replied flatly.

"Lashing out at whom? Prove what point?"

"I stopped her from killing a guy the night she left, hence the distorted cheerleaders that were left inconveniently on the sidewalk. She's trying to warn us that if we try to reel her in that she'll just get worse. If we try to stop her now she's going to go completely off the rails and it'll blow up in our faces." I explained in a bored tone.

"So we're just going to let her continue terrorising innocent citizens?" Stefan asked incredulously.

"Yep." I replied, popping the 'p' as I took another swig.

* * *

**Elena's POV**

I was fuming. I was supposed to be in charge. I couldn't let them get to me. But the faint voice of the young groom-to-be rang clearly in my memory.

_What happened to you sweetheart_?

He had looked at me with beautiful blue eyes that were so full of pity. It had been like he could see right through me, right through to my broken tar-black soul. I hadn't killed him. I couldn't. And I hated him for that. So to prove to myself that I wasn't weak, I decided to go on a killing spree; I would be heartless and cruel and play with my victims like they were dolls. I needed to stop pretending I was still human. I was a monster now.

* * *

"Please leave me alone." I whimpered at the ugly brute of a man who's hands were roaming over my body.

"I'll stop when I'm fucking finished." He grumbled, his rough fingertips digging into the flesh above my black fishnet stockings.

Grumpily I shoved him off me so he fell to the floor, his eyes wide in confusion as he looked at my small form towering over him. His gaze dropped to my black mini-skirt and he licked his lips; I must have turned him on even more with my display of dominance. Typical.

"I've had enough of your filthy hands." I quipped unkindly.

A frown formed at the man's brow and he whimpered as I kicked his body effortlessly deeper into the alley. Damn, he was unconscious; he was going to be no fun at all. I exited the shadows soundlessly in search of something better to chew on.

* * *

"You're beautiful." A deep voice whispered in my ear. I rolled my eyes and finished my vodka shot quickly before turning to face whoever had been stupid enough to approach me. My jaw dropped at the sight in front of me and a shudder ran down my spine. "Surprised to see me I take it?"

"Hello Elijah." I croaked almost inaudibly.

A warm smile spread across his kind face, his brown eyes soft and unthreatening. "Don't panic, no one knows you're here." He replied.

I swallowed thickly and nodded my head as Elijah took a seat beside me at the bar. "Does he know?" I asked under my breath.

"No, but he will do if you keep this tirade up. You're being careless and you're attracting attention. I don't know what game you're playing here, but I assume it's all for some greater cause and I'm just warning you now to stop. You should go home and lay low for a while because otherwise it will be over before it even began. Elena you know you're smarter than this." He murmured.

"I don't know who I am anymore Elijah. I wasn't supposed to be this person." I whispered to both him and myself.

"I know." He said softly, placing a hand on my back. "But you can do this. You just need to stay strong."

"I'm trying. That's why I'm here; I'm getting stronger. I can't let people push me around. I can't be my mom. I won't let _him _hurt me the way he did her. No one deserves that. No one." My voice was trembling with the overwhelming rage that was bubbling up deep inside my chest.

"He'll get what he deserves Elena. I know you'll get him in the end." He placated.

"Nothing I do to him will ever qualify as enough. You have no idea what it was like Elijah. He completely _ruined _me. It's his fault I'm like this." I spat. "Did you know he used to hurt me too? He'd beat my mom senseless when she refused him and then he'd turn on me. I mean it was nothing compared to the damage he'd do to her, but it still fucking hurt. I never told her though because her life was shit enough as it was."

"I'm so sorry Elena. I wish I'd known. I wish I'd helped." He murmured sorrowfully.

I laughed humourlessly as I span to face him. "Well you didn't, did you?" My visage began to change in my heightened state of emotion, despite the fact that we were in a public place. It was a good job it was dark in here.

"You were so young." He said painfully.

"I still am young! I shouldn't be dealing with any of this shit! Look at me! I'm a monster! And it's all because of _him._" I yelled, hot tears running down my cheeks.

"Elena, calm down." Elijah warned, his eyes piercing into mine intensely. "Your father won't get away with this. You'll get your revenge. You just need to be patient."

I tensed my jaw and turned to face the bar. "I won't let him hurt me again. I won't let him survive whilst my mom's body rots in the cemetery. He doesn't deserve to exist. He's a curse on this earth."

"Go home Elena." He repeated.

I heard Elijah sigh and I squeezed my eyes shut as he patted my head and left me alone with my misery. I couldn't fall apart like this. I needed to be strong. _He_ wasn't going to defeat me. "I'll get you in the end Daddy." I whispered before turning to locate my next victim.

* * *

When I arrived home the following morning after a tiresome night of travelling, I could think of nothing other than sleep. I paused when I entered my room and a smile tugged at my lips when I noticed a black rose lying on my pillow, a thin slip of paper attached to its stem.

**Consider it a peace offering x**

I knew instantly who'd left it. _Damon._

I shivered in delight at the feel of the silky soft petals as I brushed the delicate flower across my cheek. I knew I was going to be in trouble when I saw the brothers, but something about the gift told me that Damon was on my side here. Stefan would hate me for what I had done. Or even worse, he was going to be 'disappointed in me'. Damon on the other hand would be undoubtedly pissed off, but would understand my recklessness. I _needed_ him to understand it. If I was ever going to succeed at finding and killing my dad, I was going to need his help to do it.

I stripped out of my clothing quickly and climbed into bed, sighing contentedly as my head hit the pillow. I clutched the rose's stem tightly in my hand as my eyes drifted closed, the thorns causing blood to stream from my palm and down my wrist. The metallic smell set my throat ablaze but I was soothed by the scent of Damon on my pillow; he'd obviously been here while I was in New York. I smiled as I fell into unconsciousness, relaxing completely as I felt someone softly stroke my head.

* * *

**Thank you so much to everyone reading my story; I'm so happy about the response I've been getting! Hopefully in the next few chapters we will find out more about Elena's dad and will see if she trusts the brothers enough to let them in on her plan! :) Please keep reviewing; your opinions mean so much to me and really help the writing process! x**


	8. Chapter 8

"Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop." I sing-songed sinisterly, a smirk on my face as I watched the young girl's blood drip from her wrist and onto Damon's sleeping face. He looked cute and innocent in the soft glow of the early morning sun, but I was bored and wanted to play. I bounced up and down in delight as he began to stir and squealed when he sprang from the bed and pinned the girl to the floor. "I brought you a snack!" I chirped from the doorway, completely uninterested in the agonised moans that were sounding from the girl's lips. A shiver of pleasure ran down my spine at the carnal sound that came from deep inside his chest, his back muscles hard in the instinctive predator's stance he'd obtained.

There was an eerie silence for a moment as Damon's breathing slowed and I clenched my hands into fists as I waited out his response. I heard him sigh exasperatedly and watched as he leaned forward to whisper in the girl's ear. Whatever it was he said soothed the girl instantly and a hot jealousy bubbled up inside my chest as I saw her body arch up to his. He stood upright pulling the girl with him and watched as she left the room with heavy feet, before then turning his hazy gaze on me; he obviously still hadn't woken up properly yet. "Elena." He muttered with displeasure. "What are you doing here?"

I licked my lips as I took in his messy hairdo and bare chest, allowing my eyes to travel down his lean body in appreciation; his unkempt appearance was doing wonders to my nether regions. "Just thought I'd pop by to see my favourite Salvatore brother." I flirted, looking up at him from underneath my dark eyelashes with a smirk fixed on my face.

Damon narrowed his eyes at me for a second before pinning me to the wall, a gasp escaping my lips. "You've been incredibly _stupid_." He whispered, a strong sense of superiority in his voice. His magnificent ice-blue eyes were blazing as they pierced into mine with a look so intense that my legs threatened to buckle beneath me.

I was in trouble, that much was clear. Damon's hands were planted on either side of my head so I was trapped in between his arms, his body close enough that I could feel the warmth radiating from him. I began to breathe heavily from the anticipation of his next move, feeling equally excited and afraid. "What are you going to do?" I whispered in between breaths.

"I'm not sure yet." He replied almost inaudibly. His gaze dropped briefly to my lips as he leant his face infinitely closer so that our noses brushed lightly. _Just a little closer_, I couldn't help but think desperately.

"Am I interrupting something?" A deep voice sounded from the doorway on our right.

"Go downstairs Stefan, Elena will be there in just a moment." Damon commanded with his eyes still completely focused on mine.

I turned to see Stefan nod and leave the room, suddenly feeling slightly panicked at my inability to move. "If you're going to hurt me just do it Damon." I whispered as I turned back to meet his gaze.

"I don't trust you." He muttered softly. "I've lived long enough to know you obviously need our help with whatever scheme it is you're wrapped up in and that you're trying to distract us with your games. You're desperate and afraid. So what is it? Who're you running from Elena? What do you want from me?"

"Maybe I just like playing with you." I teased as I ran a finger down his chest, my head tilted to the side. I ignored the twisting in my stomach at the truth of his words and tried to focus; I couldn't let him get to me. I would not give in.

Damon shook his head in frustration as he stepped out of the intimate embrace. "Stefan's waiting downstairs. How about you go and play with him instead." He snapped bitterly before walking towards the adjoining bathroom. "We'll talk more when you're ready to fill me in." He called faintly.

I slumped against the wall and pouted; that had not gone according to plan.

* * *

"Sit down a moment." Stefan ordered as I strutted into the parlor a couple of minutes later, the tapping of my stilettos destroying the peaceful atmosphere of the room. It seemed my hopes of having better luck with the other brother were far-fetched; I was obviously going to get a lecture.

I fell back onto the burnt orange couch and crossed my legs with a smirk. I huffed as I began inspecting my nails, implying to a pacing Stefan that I was finding his troubled state tedious. "Feel free to begin your rant at anytime." I drawled.

"How could you do that? How could you just mercilessly kill over fifty innocent people for absolutely no reason what so ever?" He shouted haughtily, a frown deeply set in his forehead.

"I was hungry… and bored." I retorted.

"I know Damon was being controlling, but you didn't have to do something as extreme as commit a mass murder just to prove your independence. You should have come to me; I could have helped you."

"Oh yes, the bunny diet. How about… _no_." I replied in a sickly sweet voice, a grimace on my face as I stood and walked towards Damon's bourbon supply.

"You can't just kill people like that Elena. At some point its all going to become too much and the guilt will crush you." Stefan pressed.

"Stefan, I don't think you understand. Every little thing that I do has a motive. When I kill people, I'm doing it because it helps to fulfil some greater purpose. You don't know who I am and you've got no idea what I'm capable of. So how about we continue this conversation once you've done you're homework? Huh Steffy?" I snapped before taking a swig from an old bottle of amber liquid that I'd picked up.

"This isn't you." He replied matter-of-factly.

I opened my hand and narrowed my eyes at the younger Salvatore brother, the glass bottle shattering as it hit the floor. I lunged at him, smashing him brutally against the wall with a snarl. Stefan began to choke as I tightened my grip on his neck, an ominous smirk pulling at the corner of my mouth. "Look at you. You're a 150-year-old vampire and you're too weak to fight off a little girl because you won't feed on people. I may be a heartless bitch, but at least I'm able to accept what I am. You, on the other hand, have been alive for over a century and a half and still can't acknowledge that you're a monster. I'm like this because I have to be, so don't even think about lecturing me on morals and virtues. I'll do whatever it takes to ensure my survival and don't tell me you wouldn't do the same. If I have to kill a bunch of innocent people to get ahead of the game then that's what I'll do and I make no apologies for that." I spat at him, my face giving in to the domineering monster inside of me.

"Elena has anyone ever told you that you might have an anger problem?" Damon drawled as he made his appearance known.

I dropped a gasping Stefan to his feet and exhaled loudly; the emotions were becoming too much and I felt suffocated. I stared at the floor as I fought the tears that were burning behind my eyes, not wanting the brothers to see my moment of weakness.

"Elena," Stefan whispered hesitantly, a hand reaching to touch my shoulder as if frightened to disturb the quiet before the storm.

"Don't!" I snapped as I shrugged him off. Breathing deeply, I closed my eyes as I tried to calm down and work out my next move. I pulled my phone from my jeans as an idea suddenly surfaced in my mind. I dialled the number quickly and smirked as I lifted it to my ear, my other hand resting on my hip as I walked away from the brothers. "Isobel. I think it's time we had a little chat." I said softly, a mischievous glint in my eye.

If the boys weren't going to cooperate, then I'd find another way to get to my dad. I didn't need them. I didn't need anybody.

* * *

**I'm sorry if this chapter isn't very good; I had serious writer's block! I'm hoping the next chapter will be longer because I want to delve more into Elena's past and with any luck we'll find out more about her plan! Thank you so much for the reviews, they really do mean a lot :) x**


	9. Chapter 9

I tapped my foot impatiently as I waited outside the grand white house, narrowing my eyes and tilting my head to the side at the ruckus I heard behind the door. I quickly composed myself and smiled widely when the door opened to reveal the old family friend.

"I've missed you Elena!" Isobel exclaimed as she pulled me in for a hug.

"And I you." I replied sweetly when she stepped back to look me over.

"My God you've grown up. You look even more beautiful than your mom."

I bit down on my tongue at her comment, but my pleasant facade never faltered.

"Come in and have a drink. Then you can tell me all about this little problem you've got." She chirped as she pulled me into the house; it was a good thing no humans lived there, otherwise the meeting would have been an instant bust.

I lowered myself onto the cream couch and crossed my legs as Isobel handed me a glass of red wine. The front room was classy and beautiful with marble flooring and a stunning crystal chandelier that hung from the ceiling, and Isobel blended in perfectly with her champagne coloured dress and perfectly straight black hair. On the other hand, I stood out like a sore thumb against the pale room in my tight dark jeans and lacy black camisole; I was striking and I loved it. "So what do you know about the Salvatore brothers?" I asked with my eyebrows raised as I took a sip of my wine, my eyes mischievous.

"Damon and Stefan?" She replied in surprise. Ah, so she knew them! "Are they friends of yours?"

I nodded and began playing with my hair. "I presumed you'd know them, what with you being what you are."

"Right of course." She said softly. "Well I don't really know much about the younger brother; I always found him pretty dull and broody. But Damon on the other hand…" She trailed off with a wiggle of her neat eyebrows. "Let's just say he knows how to give a girl a good time." I tried not to snarl at her as she giggled and winked at me.

"I have no doubt." I muttered. _Man whore_.

"Oh you're not together are you?" She exclaimed, her eyes bugging out of her head.

I scoffed as I took a big mouthful of wine and swallowed it. "Damon? I don't think so." I drawled. "What I'm interested in is whether they know my father. I'm presuming you can tell me that?"

"Elena…" Isobel warned putting her drink down on the glass table in front of us.

"Look, it's just one simple question. I'm not asking for much. Don't you think I deserve at least that?" I pushed. "After all, my mom would still be alive right now if you'd told us what my dad had been planning."

"Elena, I never meant for your mom to die. You have to know that! She was my friend." Isobel murmured softly. "If I'd contacted either of you your dad would have found out and he would've killed me. I wasn't prepared to let that happen, so I had no choice." She tried to put her hand on my knee in comfort but I quickly dodged her move; I didn't want her affection. "If you're planning on going after him then I'm telling you now to stop. Just stop looking. He's strong and ruthless and the fact that you're his daughter will make no difference. Klaus has brainwashed him; he's not the same man you knew."

"And I'm not the same little girl he knew either." I snarled as my visage changed.

Isobel's hand flew to her mouth as she took in my monstrous form; her shocked state was a useful advantage. I grabbed hold of her wrist and twisted it until I heard a sickening snap. "Now, before I break anymore of your bones, how about you start answering my questions?"

"What do you want to know?" Isobel whimpered.

"I want to know where he is."

"Elena I can't. He'll kill me." She pleaded.

"Not good enough." I snapped as I shoved my hand into the cavity of her chest to grab hold of her heart. "Tell me where he is, otherwise I'll rip your heart out right now and shove it down your throat."

Isobel shook her head. "You don't understand. I _can't_. Klaus is stronger than any other vampire; he's an _original._ He compelled me to keep their location a secret." She choked

"Do Damon and Stefan know where he is?" I asked her pointedly.

"I don't know. They only met once or twice and it wasn't exactly on the best of terms. You need to speak to them. You need to ask them about Katherine." She panted.

I yanked my hand from her chest and got to my feet, wiping my bloody hand on my jeans in disgust. "I have your daylight bracelet, so don't bother running; I'll catch you before you get the chance to tell Daddy about his naughty little girl. I'll be back tomorrow." I promised icily.

* * *

To my delight, when I arrived at the boarding house Damon was sat alone in the parlor.

"Can I ask you a question?" I murmured politely as I sat on the other side of the couch, swinging my legs to rest on his lap. For a moment I thought he was going to shove them off, but instead he just turned to face me with a silent nod.

"Who's Katherine?" I enquired.

Damon opened his mouth as if to say something, but then quickly closed it again. "What's Stefan been saying?"

I frowned and shook my head in confusion. "Nothing. I haven't spoken to him since yesterday morning. I just want to know who she is."

"She's your doppelganger." Damon said simply. "Stefan and I knew her a long time ago."

"So, somewhere out there is a girl who looks _exactly _the same as me?" I asked disbelievingly.

"Yep." He replied, irritatingly popping the 'p'.

I thought for a moment before moving across the couch to straddle Damon. "I'm so confused Damon. I had one simple task and it was so straightforward, but suddenly everything seems to have gotten so complicated and I don't know how to fit the pieces together." I murmured cupping his face gently and running my thumbs over his cheekbones. His eyes were wide in astonishment at my outburst, but he didn't push me away. "I'm so tired." I whispered as I leaned my forehead against his. I didn't have the energy to fight and for once I just wanted to unload on someone; I had been alone for so long it hurt.

"Elena, what was the task? Tell me who you're running from. I might be able to help." He replied, his dark velvet voice a caress.

"You can't. I have to do this myself. I _promised_." I sighed closing my eyes. It was so warm and cosy in the parlor with the soft glow of the fire and all I wanted to do was curl up in Damon's lap and go to sleep.

"Who did you promise?" He pressed.

I sighed as Damon ran a hand soothingly down my back, but shook my head anyway. I wanted to trust him so badly, but I just couldn't risk it. I couldn't trust one of _them_; my mom had told me how manipulative they were and I wouldn't allow myself to fall at their mercy. "I wish I could tell you. I wish I could trust you." I murmured honestly, my voice breaking as I let the pain in.

"You can." He whispered.

"But you're a vampire; you're the one thing I can't trust." I urged in a voice that sounded unconvincing even to my own ears. I rubbed my nose against his as my hands drifted down to play with the silky hair at the nape of his neck.

"And what makes you think that?"

"Vampires are bad. They hurt people. They're monsters. They're cruel and murderous and they destroyed my life." A sob escaped my lips without warning and I tried with no avail to struggle out of the embrace. "Damon please let me go." I whimpered.

"Tell me who you're running from and I will." He replied, his voice strong but caring. He tugged my hair back so he could see my face and I wiped at my eyes in embarrassment. "Everything will be okay. You can tell me. You just have to let me in."

I screwed up my face and looked away as I fought to push down the wave of anger that threatened to consume me. "My dad." I spat through clenched teeth. "I want to kill my dad."

The parlor was silent as my confession hung in the air. I pushed myself off Damon and disappeared from the boarding house, the need to escape overwhelming me. Why the fuck did I have to let him in? Why did I have to be so weak?

* * *

**I hope this chapter is okay, I've been working on it all day and I had to keep rewriting bits! I know it seems a bit soon to see Elena give in to Damon, but this is just a moment of weakness and she'll back to being a bitch to him pretty quickly! **

**Thank you so much to everyone that is reading my story; it makes me so happy to see that people actually like it! Please keep reviewing, I love hearing your opinions! :) x**


	10. Chapter 10

**Damon's POV**

I frowned at my sudden loneliness, my body feeling chilled from the abrupt absence of hers. She hated vampires. She despised vampires. Yet, she'd slit her own throat just to ensure that she became one. It made no sense and I couldn't help but wonder if she was playing me. Except, for the first time since I'd met her she had actually seemed genuine. One thing I knew for certain was that if she had turned into a vampire just so she could kill her dad, he must have done something really bad to make her that desperate.

I quickly dialled Liz Forbes' number and waited impatiently for her answer. "Liz I need a quick favour. How well do you know Elena Gilbert?"

"She was best friends with my daughter until her mom died about a year ago… Keeps herself to herself and never leaves the house anymore, poor thing. Why? Have you seen her?" Liz asked curiously, her voice straining to be heard over the voices in the background.

"That's not important. Do you know the name of her father?"

Liz gave a humourless laugh, which was quickly followed by a piteous sigh. "Grayson. The bastard had an affair with some pretty, young socialite called Isobel and then got up and left them; Elena was only about 13. I had reports from neighbours saying that he'd turn up at their house and distressing sounds could be heard from the streets: screaming, smashing and all manner of nightmarish noises. The neighbours were certain that he'd killed them numerous times, but Miranda and Elena always denied that he'd ever been there when we tracked them down; they never even had a scratch.

"Then Miranda died suddenly and the poor girl was left all alone; the majority of the town still suspect he did it. The last time I saw her was at Miranda's funeral and you could just see that it'd broken her; she looked completely blank, as if her mom's death had drained her of any hope or energy she had left." She explained sadly. "There've been no complaints of a commotion in their house for a long time now and people stopped trying to visit a long time ago; we all tried to begin with but she just never answered. Some say she's gone crazy, and to be honest I wouldn't blame her if she had; even the strongest of characters would be traumatised after what she's been through, poor thing. Of course, no one knows for certain about any of it because the two of them were always so secretive, as if their lives depended on it. All we know is that one day the three of them were a happy family – Grayson, Miranda and Elena – and then they just weren't. We've got no idea where he is anymore, but as far as this town is concerned I think we'd rather not know. Elena is safer without him anyway."

I clenched my hand into a fist as I listened to Liz, my mind filled with images of Elena's distressed writhing body that night I'd taken away her nightmares. "But he's still alive?"

"As far as I'm aware…" Liz replied vaguely. "Have you seen Elena recently then Damon? Is she okay?"

"And what about this Isobel? What do you know about her?" I asked vehemently, completely ignoring the questions regarding Elena.

"She was friends with Miranda in high school and I think they stayed pretty close, seeing each other from time to time. I think by the time the affair had started they'd already drifted pretty far apart. She'd always wanted what Miranda had so it didn't really come as much of a surprise; she was a sly, jealous woman. Pale skinned, straight black hair and cold, lifeless hazel eyes. She comes back to town every now and then; she lives in the outskirts with all the other well-off people."

"Surname?" I couldn't help a feeling of familiarity at the description I'd been given. Isobel… Isobel… why did I recognise that name?

"Flemming. Isobel Flemming."

I pursed my lips and narrowed my eyes as I tried to place the name. I knew I knew her, but I'd met a lot of people in my lifetime and it was difficult to match a name to a face sometimes. "Right… Thanks Liz." I replied thoughtfully before hanging up the phone.

* * *

"The name Grayson Gilbert mean anything to you?" I asked Stefan as he came in from his hunt.

Stefan frowned for a moment in thought and then opened his mouth as if to say something before closing it again. He sat down on the couch opposite and rubbed his chin with his index finger, as if he was contemplating man's existential dilemma. God he was self-righteous and irritating! "I seem to remember coming across that name when we met in Atlanta four or five years ago…" He said at last, his voice sounding ridiculously philosophical. "That woman you were messing around with mentioned him I think."

I rolled my eyes in disdain at myself as a light bulb flickered on in my mind. "Isobel." I muttered.

"Obnoxious woman if I remember rightly, not that it really mattered all that much to you." Stefan remarked as he stood and left the parlor, but I was distracted and only barely caught it.

* * *

**Five years ago**

_"I hope you know what you're asking for, otherwise it's going to be a nasty shock when the sun rises tomorrow." I mocked with a smirk plastered on my face._

_I had Isobel pinned naked beneath me, her monotonous eyes looking up at me with impatience. "Just do it Damon. I'm tired of begging. I want this." She replied in her thin, soprano voice that I found unbelievably irritating. At least she tasted good._

"_All right then sweetie." I drawled before my visage changed and I tore with my fangs into the flesh of my wrist. I pressed the wound to Isobel's full lips and she drank eagerly, her face slightly scrunched up at the still unpleasant coppery taste. I glanced around the dank motel room with boredom as I waited for her to finish, keen to get my turn. Having your blood drank by a woman was supposed to be exhilarating, but unfortunately Isobel was attractive but dreary, and I was getting very little out of the exchange. _

"_I think that's enough." I announced darkly as I easily pulled my arm from her slender hands. "It's my turn." _

_Isobel screamed as my fangs pierced into the tender flesh of her neck, creating a pair of new wounds from the night before. I drank the beautiful elixir hungrily with big gulps, my arms and legs anchoring her struggling body beneath me; it seemed that even though she wanted me to kill her, she just couldn't help but try to get away. It made the whole experience far more exciting for me, so I was quite happy to let her continue thrashing around._

_There was a strange trace of bitterness in Isobel's blood that I presumed laced from her objectionable personality and I couldn't help but notice that there was definitely something missing from her that had obviously made her desperate; I only had to look at her to get her in bed and she was willing to become a vampire just to fill the gaping void that was her life. She had a strange quality to her that made her seem very plain, even though she should have been beautiful with her perfectly symmetrical face and big eyes. If I wasn't so heartless, I might have felt sorry for her. But since I was, I happily took advantage of her insufferable misery._

_I sighed when she ran dry and wiped my mouth on the white bed sheets. Without looking back at Isobel's drained corpse I pulled on my clothes and slipped out the motel room, quickly hanging the 'DO NOT DISTURB' sign on the doorknob before disappearing into the night._

* * *

**Elena's POV**

I was lying at the bottom of my bathtub, hoping that being several inches underwater would make the world disappear. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to be dealing with any of this. I just wanted it all to stop. I wanted everything to go away.

Feeling a strange sensation of being watched, I opened my eyes to peer through the warm water and gasped at the face hovering above me. I shot upright in the bath coughing and spluttering, my chest heaving as it attempted to rid itself of the water in my lungs; it burnt in a way that filled my eyes instantly with tears.

"Oops." A familiar deep voice of dark velvet texture muttered, evidently finding the incident funny.

"I swear to God I'm going to rip you to shreds!" I screamed at him in a croaky voice.

Damon lifted his arms up in surrender as I got out the bath and wrapped a towel around my wet naked body. "Look, I was just here to talk." He offered matter-of-factly.

"And you couldn't wait until _after _I got out the bath?" I snapped at him.

"Well I could have done… but where's the fun in that?" He teased with a smirk.

I lunged at him, knocking him to the ground so I was straddling him. "Tell me what you needed to talk so importantly about so that you can get the hell out of here." I spat between gritted teeth.

Damon's eyes darkened as he looked up at my wild form, my hair wavy and dripping wet. I felt a delicious warmth flow through me as his gaze drifted down my body and focused hungrily on where our bodies touched. "I'm going to help you." He said gently, his soft but firm hands sliding up my damp thighs.

* * *

**I'm really sorry it took me longer to update, but I had an exam and it completely frazzled my brain! I hope you like this chapter, things are starting to come together a bit now :) thank you sooo much to everyone reading my story and please keep reviewing - it really does help the writing process! x**


	11. Chapter 11

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this." I groaned into the phone as I stood outside the unfamiliar apartment door of 4B.

"Good morning sunshine." Damon replied in an annoyingly chipper tone. "To what precisely are you referring to?"

"Meeting your _friend_. The one who happens to be a pretty decent vampire killer?" I drawled sardonically. "I don't understand why you can't just train me?"

"You've never really fought before. Alaric can teach you how to fight a vampire as a human, the basics per say. Once you can do that, I can start training you how to apply your vampire traits in a fight." He explained gently.

"But I've already managed to tackle you and Stefan!" I protested.

"Yeah but we weren't fighting back. If you want to stand a chance then you need to get a lot stronger and a lot faster. You need to learn where and when to strike. You need to learn how to be in control." He urged. "Alaric knows what he's doing Elena. Trust me, okay?"

I sighed loudly and nodded despite the fact he couldn't see me. "Okay." I murmured quietly.

"I'll come and see how you're getting on later." He said encouragingly before hanging up.

I took a couple of deep breaths whilst straightening my shoulders and then I knocked on the solid wooden door.

* * *

I hated to admit it, but Damon was right; Alaric was brilliant. We'd been training for about an hour and I felt exhausted but exhilarated.

"How long have you been friends with Damon?" I asked as I kicked the leather punch bag that hung in the middle of the dim apartment. The place had exposed brick walls and dusty wooden flooring and it was scattered with books, coffee cups and various other belongings. It had a peculiar charm that made me instantly feel warm and safe, and I had decided almost immediately that I liked the tall sandy-haired man that rented it.

"About six months I think. I'd just moved here from North Carolina to teach history at the high school, after hearing that a particular vampire had resettled here that I wanted to kill… it's a long story and to be honest I still can't work out when and how we started to not hate each other. I'm guessing the answer's bourbon." He explained with a chuckle that I couldn't help but smile at; something about him made me feel content and relaxed in a way that made me want to stay in the warmth of his presence for as long as possible.

"I just don't get how you stand him!" I replied, a wide genuine smile spreading across my face.

Alaric scoffed and shook his head as he took hold of the punch bag to provide me with some resistance. "Neither do I! Actually, about eighty percent of the time I can't, I'm just sedated with alcohol." He joked. "The guy's a dick, but he gets stuff done. He'll infuriate the hell out of you with the shit he does, but at the end of the day he protects the people that are important to him. He's a good buddy. I mean look, he's helping you isn't he?"

I stopped punching for a moment and looked into Alaric's soft hazel brown eyes. I gave him a small nod and pursed my lips. "I want to trust him… I really do. But-" I shook my head at him. "He's a _vampire_."

Alaric looked at me contemplatively for a second and then gave a gentle smile. "So are you. The fact that you're a vampire makes you no more or less trustworthy than if you were a human. It's the person you should be trusting, not the species." He explained softly, his voice comforting and wise.

"I just don't have good experiences with vampires… or trust for that matter." I replied as I began to kick the punch bag again, harder than I had been before.

"I get it, you've had a hard time, but at some point you've got to let all the anger and resentment go. Not all vampires are like your dad. Trust me, its taken a hell of a long time for me to accept that they're not all bad too, so I'm by no means judging you for resisting."

"What did Damon tell you about him?" I asked with an attempt at indifference.

"Well he said he doesn't know much, because you haven't really spoken to him about it, but he told me that your dad left you and hurt you and your mom when he'd come back to visit." He said hesitantly.

I nodded slowly as I switched from kicks to punches. "He left after he turned, but we didn't know what he'd become until he came back." I explained, my voice harsh from exertion.

"You're really starting to get the hang of this now." He encouraged softly, quickly changing the subject to alleviate the tension that had formed in the apartment.

I looked up at him with a small smile and slowed to a stop before leaning against the punch bag. "I really appreciate you helping me Alaric; it means a lot to me."

A 250-kilowatt smile spread across his kind face wrinkling his eyes and I suddenly felt like crying because of the overwhelming sense of compassion that was radiating from him. "Don't mention it. I'm happy to help." He said.

"Tut tut tut, slacking already!" An irritating voice called from behind, ruining the moment between my trainer and me.

"Ah Damon, I'm surprised I didn't notice you approaching with that gigantic ego of yours. I'm amazed you can even fit your head through the door." I snapped unkindly as I turned around with an unpleasant smile on my face.

"Jesus." Alaric laughed from behind.

"Ric fancy a drink?" Damon asked with a sigh, completely ignoring my presence in the room.

"Sure. Now?"

"Yeah. I'll be there in a couple of minutes. I just need a minute with Elena if that's okay?"

Alaric nodded and walked past me to the door. "It was great meeting you Elena. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. It was nice meeting you too." I replied sweetly before he turned and left me alone with Damon.

* * *

"So warrior princess… how was your first lesson?" Damon asked as he closed the door, my body instantly alert as he moved towards me.

"Good thank you. I like Alaric." I replied flatly.

Damon nodded with a smirk that made me grind my teeth together; he was so full of himself! "I want to show you something." He said softly as he pulled out a sharp wooden stake from inside his jacket.

I instinctively took a step back and lifted my hands out in warning, my eyes bugging from my head as I looked alarmingly into Damon's eyes. "What the hell is that for?" I exclaimed.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you with it." He reassured me, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

I narrowed my eyes at him as a growl sounded from deep within my chest. "What's it for then?"

Damon handed the stake to me and took a step back. "Kill me." He said darkly, his arms by his sides submissively.

"Excuse me?" I exclaimed incredulously.

"You heard. Come on, kill me."

A devilish smirk tugged at the corner of my mouth and my head fell to the side as I let the command settle in my mind. A small giggle of delight fell from my lips as I tightened my grip on the wooden weapon, letting my eyes rake his lean form in contemplation. I lunged at him quickly with the stake pointed at his chest, but all of a sudden I found myself in his iron-grip being held from behind. I gasped in surprise and stared in astonishment at the stake that was now on the other side of the room; he'd been holding out on me. Damon had hold of my right hand and kept it pressed to my chest so I couldn't move, whilst his other hand rested tantalisingly at the bottom of my ribcage. "Oops, now you're dead." He whispered seductively into my ear sending slithers of ice down my spine.

My breathing was suddenly very heavy and I struggled to focus on anything other than the fact that Damon's hard, muscular chest was pressing tightly against my back. I almost leapt out of my skin as Damon pressed his fingers deeply into my flesh and slightly under the back of my ribcage.

"This is the easiest way to a vampire's heart; underneath the ribcage, right next to the spine." He murmured, my vampire senses easily picking up the slight shaking in his voice; this was obviously affecting him too. His fingers softened and trailed up the side of my body, along my collarbone and then began running slowly and softly up and down my chest, from the base of my neck to just above the valley between my breasts. I couldn't help but close my eyes and lean into him as I gave into the consuming sensations, wanting desperately for his hands to stay on me forever. "Your sternum is a solid bit of bone, so it'll be a little more tricky." He whispered. I let out a small breathy moan as Damon's lips ghosted along the side of my neck and nearly collapsed when he released me.

I swallowed thickly and opened my eyes before slowly turning round to face him. "I want to be faster." I whispered breathlessly.

A small lop-sided smile appeared on his face as his blazing ice-blue eyes pierced intensely into mine. "You will be." He replied, softly tucking a stray curl behind my ear.

My eyes fell to his perfect, kissable lips at the gentle gesture and I felt myself lean instantaneously towards them. "Damon…" I breathed.

"I'm gonna go find Ric at the bar. Feel free to join us if you like heavily drunk inappropriate men in their twenties. You should probably shower first though." He said playfully, scrunching up his nose in mock disgust.

I rolled my eyes in annoyance and grabbed my phone and keys from the breakfast bar. "I think I'll pass." I replied spitefully as I followed him out the door; I would not allow myself to be tempted by him. Well, not again anyway.

* * *

"Elena!" An enthusiastic, high-pitched voice called as I walked towards my car.

I turned around in astonishment and smiled as I saw my, or what was my, best friend Caroline approaching me. "Hi Care." I said pleasantly, anxiously running a hand through my slightly sweaty curls.

"It has seriously been _forever_ since I last saw you! Oh my God, I've missed you _so_ much!" She exclaimed with a silly grin on her face.

"Yeah, I've missed you too." I replied softly.

"We should totally hang out! We could go to the Grill like we used to! Are you free tomorrow?" She rambled, her words jumbling together in an adorably exciteable way.

"Sure, that'd be great." I agreed, clenching my hands into fists as my head became filled with the sound of her steadily beating heart. "I've got somewhere I need to be, but I'll see you tomorrow okay?" I said as I began backing away.

"Can't wait!" She chirped before turning around and practically skipping away.

I shut myself in my car as fast as I could manage without using my vampire speed and immediately starting smacking my head against the back of the seat.

Blood. I needed blood.

* * *

I drove along a deserted road through the forest, my car going at a speed that would have been impossible for me to control as a human. I smiled when I saw another car come towards me and swerved in the road so it had no choice but to harshly pull to a stop. I watched with amusement as a middle-aged man got out and began walking towards me. _Perfect_, I thought darkly.

I took a deep breath to calm my excitement and got out the car to greet the furious stranger.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He yelled angrily.

"I'm sorry, I think there's something wrong with me. I feel… terrible." I whimpered, pretending to be incredibly faint.

"Hey, hey." He called as he caught my elbow to steady me.

I looked up into his emerald green eyes and my black dilating pupils quickly consumed my brown orbs. "Don't move." I whispered softly as I slid my hand into the brown curls at the nape of his neck. "This isn't going to hurt." I continued before allowing my face to shift into its monstrous form. I sank my fangs hungrily into the curve of his neck, groaning appreciatively as they pierced the rapidly pumping carotid artery. I immediately went into a frenzy as the beautiful soothing liquid ran down my throat, quenching a burning hunger that I hadn't realised existed before I'd began to ease it. I moved quickly to prop his body against a tree as my victim apparently lost the strength to hold himself upright. I _loved _this. Nothing in the world compared to the exhilaration of draining a person of their blood.

Suddenly I found myself being yanked backwards by a strong pair of arms and I thrashed viciously in an attempt to get back to my source of food.

"Elena STOP." A familiar voice commanded powerfully. "Stop."

I huffed but slowly stopped struggling. As my breathing slowed and my visage began to change back to normal, I came down from my blood high and took in the scene before me. _What had I done?_ "Is he-" I began, my eyes filling with tears. Blood was dripping unattractively from my chin onto my chest and I looked down in horror at the blood that was staining my hands.

The man was now slumped in a heap on the floor and the terrifying silence was answer enough for my clipped question. He wasn't breathing. There was no heartbeat.

"I'm just going to make sure." Stefan mumbled uncomfortably as he let me go and walked over to the mess of a man.

"What have I done?" I murmured, this time out loud. Tears began running fervently down my cheeks and I looked through blurred eyes at my shaking red hands.

* * *

**Damon's POV**

Alaric and I only had a quick drink in the end because the Grill was filled with loud, exasperating teenagers of which wouldn't leave me alone and Ric admitted to having a pile of papers he had to mark. Infuriated with sticking to the speed limit of Mystic Falls I decided to drive the long way home through the forest where I could go faster, in the hope that I'd get at least some enjoyment from my afternoon. I frowned as I heard the brooding voice of my brother, his words troubling me.

_Elena, STOP._

I pulled my car to a halt, the brakes screeching in protest at the abruptness, and stared for a moment at the almost collision that had taken place between Elena's car and that of a stranger, confused at what on earth she'd been doing. Using my vampire speed I got out my car and followed the sound of the disjointed conversation that was occurring between the two of them.

I watched in horror as the strong, seductive and deceitful vampire I thought I knew turned around with tear filled eyes and a bloodstained chin, staring at me helplessly before falling to her knees. What was going on? I scanned around the forest quickly and immediately understood when I saw Stefan leaning over the messy body of what I expected was Elena's victim. She'd let it in and the guilt had apparently hit her harder than a tsunami.

I had no idea what to do.

Elena dug her nails deep into her abdomen as she sobbed, tears streaming down her face faster than I could count.

"I killed him." She whispered, bewildered as if she had just come out of a trance. "Damon," She sobbed, my name sounding like a plea.

I felt my chest tighten at the sound of her pain and looked up at Stefan in panic, hoping he'd have an idea about how to stop her hurting. My gaze almost immediately fell back on Elena as the strong scent of her blood filled the air, and I swiftly lowered myself onto my knees in front of her so I could take her hands in mine to stop her digging her nails any further into her flesh. Her body instantly rolled forwards so that she was slouched against me, her face pressing into my chest, quickly soaking my shirt with her tears. "It's okay Elena." I comforted as her body continued to tremble with sobs. "It's all going to be okay."

I began stroking her hair and looked up at my brother, who was looking down at me seemingly at a complete loss. Something in Elena had snapped. Either she was going to completely fall to pieces, or she was going to become completely ruthless.

* * *

**This is my longest chapter yet, so I hope you all like it! :) Unless I write another chapter for tomorrow morning, this is going to be the last chapter for a few days because I'm not going to have any internet access. I promise I'll do as much writing as I can though so that I can update straight away with hopefully an even longer chapter! :) Once again, thank you so much to everyone reading my story and to those of you who send me reviews - it really does help me when I'm writing! x**


	12. Chapter 12

I sat and stared blankly ahead as tears ran silently down my face, my bloody hands limp at my sides. The parlor was dim, lit only by the orange flames licking and spitting in the fireplace and I watched as Stefan lowered himself on the couch opposite me. Damon walked round behind me and draped a soft woolly blanket around my shoulders, which I snuggled into appreciatively; my blood felt like ice. Stefan's face was broody and serious as he stared at me and I couldn't help but resent him for being so arrogant; _I told you so_ was written all over his face. I knew Damon wouldn't judge me for what I'd done, but I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking as I watched him stood at the alcohol cabinet downing a glass of bourbon.

"Elena this is exactly what I was trying to warn you about." Stefan sighed, self-righteousness dripping from every word. "This is why I wanted you to try an alternative diet."

I glanced at him for a moment, my eyes blank and unfeeling, blinking lazily as I felt the left side of my face soak in the heat of the blazing fire. I felt drained and exhausted.

"Stefan." Damon warned in a quiet but sharp tone as he knocked back another glassful.

The parlor was silent for a moment and I gazed at Damon in longing. I knew that it was wrong and that he was one of them, but I couldn't help but want his arms around me. The light of the fire gave his pale, flawless skin a soft golden glow and I tilted my head to the side as I noticed the tensed muscles in his shoulders. The sleeves of his black button down had been rolled up and his dark hair was dishevelled. He looked… beautiful, and frustrated.

"What are we going to do now then?" Stefan asked softly.

"Nothing. I've gotten rid of the body; everything's been taken care of." Damon replied carefully, his eyes flicking briefly to me to watch for a reaction.

"Been taken care of? Elena _killed _someone." Stefan protested.

I flinched and dug my nails into the palms of my hands, my gaze falling to my lap. I scrunched my eyes shut as I felt a hand lightly squeeze my thigh, the couch dipping with the added weight.

"Elena, its okay." Damon's voice whispered softly from beside me. "Relax."

I opened my eyes and turned to look through bleary eyes at his kind face. "I-" I croaked before shaking my head, my body trembling as I bit back a sob.

"Stefan go and look for some bunnies, I want to speak to Elena alone for a minute." Damon muttered flatly, his voice sounding totally different compared to when he'd addressed me.

Stefan huffed but got up and walked out the boarding house anyway. I hated how disgusted with me he was.

"What happened?" Damon asked as he tucked a stray curl behind my ear, his fingertips lingering at my jaw.

"I- I was talking to Caroline and all of a sudden my head was filled with the sound of her heart beating… the smell of her blood. I managed to get in my car, but I was suddenly so _hungry_. I couldn't think straight. I could only think of blood. I don't really remember a whole lot after that, except for how good the blood was. God, I literally tore him apart!" I sobbed, my head turned in to the back of the couch to conceal my face. "What have I done?" I murmured to myself, my voice muffled by the couch.

"Elena," I heard Damon whisper. "Hey. Hey. It's okay. Everything's going to be all right." He cooed as he pulled me to face him, despite my best attempts at resistance. "You've got nothing to be ashamed of." He asserted, his hands cupping my face and his thumbs soothingly brushing my cheekbones.

"But- But-" I struggled. "But I _killed_ him!" I exclaimed.

"You just need to learn how to control yourself." He assured me. "Do you have any idea how many people Stefan and me have killed over the years?"

I shook my head and sniffled as I stared into Damon's impossibly deep, diamond-like eyes. I was beginning to think my mother had been wrong.

"Hundreds." He nodded his head as I frowned. "You have to feed regularly. You didn't, so you snapped." He explained.

"I don't want to be like this." I croaked.

"I know." He replied with a sad smile.

"I'm so tired Damon." I whispered as I slouched forwards, his arms wrapping immediately around me.

"It's okay. You're safe now. You can sleep."

I nodded against his chest and closed my eyes, a small smile on my lips at the contented sensation I felt in the protection of his arms.

* * *

**Damon's POV**

I had been sat in the armchair of the guest bedroom for hours now, watching her sleep restlessly. I could tell by the deep frown on her face that her dreams were unpleasant and troubling and it sent a horrid shiver down my spine. I was anxious about her waking up because I knew it would be then that I would see how the incident had affected her.

Sometime during the night I had drifted off to sleep, but was suddenly woken by Elena whimpering. Her body was trembling and a thin layer of perspiration had coated her stressed face.

"Damon," She sobbed, her hand reaching across the mattress as she searched for me.

Not knowing what else to do, I walked over to the bed and climbed in beside her. I pulled her small and distressed body against me and began to stroke her hair. "It's going to be okay." I whispered, my chin resting on her head.

"I should never have killed myself." Her small musical voice whispered in the darkness.

I watched silently as she propped herself up on her elbow, her sad doe eyes staring into mine.

"Not after you fed me your blood anyway." She continued solemnly.

"What do you mean?" I asked softly.

"I should have killed myself a long time ago. I'd be better off dead." She concluded with her eyes cast downwards as she played with my collar.

"Hey," I said loudly, lifting her chin up so she'd look at me. "Don't talk like that." I commanded.

"Why not? I'm not strong enough to do any of this. My dad will probably just kill me anyway!" She exclaimed.

To her surprise I flipped us over so that she was pinned beneath me, our noses only a hair's width apart. "Elena do you really think I'd let him lay a finger on you?"

Elena frowned at me and her eyes filled with tears. "I don't see why you wouldn't. No one else has ever stopped him before."

I cupped her cheek with one hand and brushed my nose against hers. "You don't need to be afraid anymore. I won't let him hurt you."

"I want to trust you." She murmured softly, misery evident in her voice.

"Then trust me." I whispered.

Elena closed her eyes and leant into my touch, a small smile playing on her lips. "For years my mom told me that vampires were repulsive, relentless killers. I believed her whole-heartily and my belief in her shaped me into who I am. But… I don't know who I am anymore. Since I turned, everything has gotten so confusing." She whispered, her eyes opening to stare intently into mine.

I swallowed thickly at the appearance of her impossibly big, brown doe-eyes and her pillow-soft looking lips. "Maybe your mom was wrong. Maybe she wanted you to believe that so you'd hate us enough to find and kill your dad, no matter which of us you had to kill in the process."

She shook her head gently. "I don't think she lied. My dad was a vampire and he was cruel and heartless, so she accepted that that was just how vampires were. She knew that if I became one, that I'd be ruthless too and would be able to kill him. I get that. But, I still feel things Damon…"

"Your feelings heighten when you become a vampire, they don't disappear Elena. Not unless you turn your humanity off. That's why you hurt so much." I explained gently.

"Damon," She murmured, her hands sliding up my back. "You're nothing like the vampires my mom told me about, but I can't help but think its all some big trick. You're the reason I'm so confused. I can't escape the feeling that you're just acting like this to manipulate me."

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. The same could be said for you right now. How am I supposed to know if this is the real you talking or just another one of your games?" I asked softly, my gaze dropping to her lips.

"I guess you'll just have to trust me." She whispered seductively in my ear before trapping my earlobe between her blunt teeth.

I pushed myself back so I could look down at her and smirked as I saw her frustrated glare, which disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. "Why should I trust you if you don't trust me?" I challenged.

"Damon, do you really think I would be here right now if I didn't?" She asked, an innocent expression on her face.

"When it comes to you I'm never sure what to think." I replied honestly.

A devilish smirk tugged at the corner of her delectable mouth. "Which is just what I always aim for." She replied proudly, her legs wrapping around my waist to encage me.

"I don't doubt it." I replied. The normal Elena was back and if she wanted to play games, I would be all too happy to indulge her. I dipped my head into the curve of her neck and began kissing a trail from her earlobe down to her collarbone, nipping and licking as I went.

"Damon," She exhaled in a breathy moan, her nails digging into my shoulder blades.

I shuddered at the sound of my name falling from her lips like a prayer and sucked on the flesh at the base of her neck hard, making sure that I'd leave a mark for her to find in the morning. I kissed the mark chastely afterwards and then wormed myself from her embrace. "Goodnight Elena." I whispered in the shell of her ear, a smirk plastered on my face as I noticed her shiver, before walking out the room.

"Asshole." She muttered as I closed the door. Her voice had been quiet, but I knew she was all too aware that I would be able to hear her.

* * *

**I'm really sorry it's been so long since I last updated but I've been super busy! **

**I hope this chapter is okay, I've been suffering with a bit of writer's block and this is what I've managed to come up with. This chapter is a sort of in between chapter, so hopefully the next one will be longer.**

******Thank you so much to everyone reading my story and to those of you who send me reviews - it really does help me when I'm writing! :) x**


	13. Chapter 13

"Do you think Damon would manipulate me?" I grunted, as I pulled my body up to the beam once more, my arms shaking with the strain.

"Possibly. If he thinks you're up to something that could potentially rebound on him, then I think he might. The thing with Damon is you never really know what he's going to do. The moment you expect something of him, he'll do the complete opposite just to spite you. I wouldn't bother trying to figure out what he's thinking because I can almost guarantee that you'll be wrong. I've attempted it enough times myself, but Damon's impulsive." Alaric replied, his hands on my calves to support me.

"Doesn't that get him into a lot trouble? I mean, if he acts before really thinking it through?"

"Yeah sometimes, but most of what he does has a purpose. It's pretty difficult to remember of course, given the fact that he usually manages to do something that'll hurt you. He does a lot of bad things, but they're hardly ever unnecessary. You'll get it some day." He explained.

"Maybe. I'm not sure I'll ever fully trust anyone again to be honest." I sighed as I dropped to the floor, clapping the dust from hands.

"I thought that once too." He said softly, understanding radiating from him. "I think that's enough for today."

I nodded. "Can I borrow your bathroom to change in?" I asked him politely.

"Of course. There's no need to ask."

"Thanks." I replied as I grabbed my bag and went to freshen up.

"So what've you got planned for the rest of the day?" Alaric called after a moment.

"I'm going to the Grill to meet my friend Caroline now I think. I haven't exactly spoken to her in the past year." I replied as I tucked my cream blouse into my skirt.

"I'll come with you if that's all right? I'm meeting Damon for a drink."

"Terrific." I sighed as I walked back out. "The idea of being in a room full of humans is bad enough, let alone having Damon there to narrate the experience."

"Its safer to have him there. Think about it Elena – what would happen if you were to lose control and he wasn't there? Yes he'll probably find someway to irritate you, but he'll be there to help if you need it. And you've got me there to get rid of him if he bugs you, so don't worry." Alaric reassured me in his gentle and friendly voice.

"Thanks Ric." I replied with a smile, feeling warm and content in his kind-hearted presence.

* * *

The Grill was busy, but fortunately didn't contain too many people I knew. The smell of alcohol and hamburgers made me smile, reminding me of a time when everything was so blissfully normal and happy, and I almost immediately spotted Caroline sat in one of the red-leather booths. I strolled over to her confidently with a spring in my step, barely even noticing the potent scent of blood that wafted through the air.

"Hey Care!" I greeted enthusiastically as I took a seat opposite her.

"Elena! Oh my God you came! I wasn't sure whether you would." She replied excitedly, her expression looking a little guilty following her minor confession.

"Of course I came, I said I would didn't I?" I asked pleasantly.

"Yeah, but its been so long since I've seen you that I just wasn't sure. What've you been up to?"

I gulped and my smile faltered, unsure of how to answer the question. "This and that. But let's not talk about me! I want to know all about what's going on at school and what you and Bonnie have been up to." My voice sounded shaky and nervous and I knew that Caroline would easily detect her mistake.

She smiled at me sadly and apologetically, making me wonder whether she knew just how terrible my life had been lately. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

I smiled sweetly at her and rested my hand over hers, my chest tightening in pain. "I'll go and get us some drinks." I replied.

Thankfully, after that Caroline began rambling about numerous meaningless matters that had occurred since I'd been in seclusion; momentarily taking my mind off all the despair that had overtaken my own life. I'd forgotten how great it was to just hang out with someone and take a break from everything.

"Elena! I didn't realise you have friends!" An irritating, familiar voice hollered from beside me all of a sudden.

An involuntary shiver ran down my spine as his fingertips brushed my neck with a feathery lightness before his hand settled on my shoulder. I struggled to keep my face composed and I felt an overwhelming urge to snap off his arm when I saw the arrogant, knowing look on his face.

"Well aren't you going to introduce us?" He asked pleasantly, his eyebrows raised in amusement.

His lips were sculpted into a twisted smile that worsened my now blistering rage, but I couldn't help the clench in my stomach as I marvelled at how deliciously soft and handsome his mouth looked.

"Caroline this is Damon Salvatore. Damon this is my best friend Caroline Forbes." I muttered resignedly as Damon shifted my body further into the booth and sat beside me, not even really registering how Caroline's eyes had lit up at the last part.

"It's a pleasure to be acquainted with you." Damon murmured seductively as he fixed Caroline with his piercing gaze, a warm heart-wrenching smile on his delectable face.

Caroline blushed and looked up at him from beneath her long, curly eyelashes with sparkling eyes. "It's nice to meet you too." She replied in a musical voice laced with flirtation.

I began to grind my teeth together as I silently watched their exchange over the table, Damon's charm dazzling Caroline into a submissive and hazy state. Suddenly I wanted to claw her eyes out and toss her outside; I'd do anything to break the crazy eye contact.

I gasped in shock as Damon's hand clamped down on my leg, squeezing it lightly before his fingers began to massage my inner thigh. One of my elbows rested on the table, whilst my other arm dropped beneath to cover Damon's hand with my own, my nails cutting into his skin in an attempt to keep my facial expression indifferent. I noticed the corner of his mouth twitch in stifled amusement and I dug my nails deeper, wincing as he returned the favour.

"Damon why are you harassing Elena and Caroline?" Alaric's voice sounded unexpectedly. "Come back to the bar and leave them alone." He ordered, patting Damon casually on the back.

Damon slid gracefully out the booth and sauntered past Alaric, presumably in search of bourbon.

"Thank you." I said softly, a kind smile forming on my face.

Alaric winked at me with a large grin and turned to hastily follow his vampire friend.

"Why did Mr Saltzman just wink at you? Do you know him or something?" Caroline questioned in her hushed, gossipy voice.

"Yeah, we… we work out together." I replied lamely.

Caroline's eyebrows shot up and she scoffed. "Weird. Anyway, how on earth do you know Damon? When did you meet him? I don't remember you knowing him before! And trust me, I would definitely have remembered _that_ face!" She enthused excitedly.

"Oh not very long at all. I mean, we barely know each other. But trust me, the face is a lot prettier than what lies beneath; he's seriously insufferable." I replied with a sigh.

"_Insufferable_? Elena, the man is literally a God, you cannot say that!" She exclaimed.

"He's an ass." I asserted with jurisdiction.

"Whatever you say. He's still ridiculously hot!" She concluded with a giggle.

I rolled my eyes and took a swig of my beer.

"I still don't get how you managed to get us alcohol." Caroline murmured in awe as she took a sip of her beverage. "Did you flutter your eyelashes at Matty?" She teased with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

"Of course not." I replied, my chest tightening when I thought back to how I'd treated him the last time I'd seen him.

"So what then?" She asked.

"I have my ways." I replied with a shrug, a cocky smile on my face.

I let my eyes roam around the grill whilst Caroline tapped furiously on her phone and swallowed thickly when my brown eyes met Damon's ice-blue ones. Had he been watching me? Why wouldn't he just leave me the hell alone? I leapt to my feet and my head snapped to the side as a concentrated stench of blood filled the air, my visage struggling to not give in to my inner demon.

"Elena?" Caroline's voice murmured confusedly from the booth behind me, though her voice sounded miles away in my bloodthirsty haze.

I was just preparing myself to go in for the kill when I felt a hand on my elbow. "No Elena." Damon's strong voice commanded in a hurried whisper, his breath tickling my ear. "Close your eyes. Hold your breath. Count to ten."

I did as he asked, a small smile forming on my face as I felt myself regain control of my body, my desires now suppressed.

"Good girl." He said softly, his thumb rubbing a soothing circle on the inside of my arm before leaving me alone again.

"What was that?" Caroline asked in bewilderment, as I turned round to face her and slid back into the booth.

"Panic attack that's all. Don't worry about it." I replied sweetly.

"Are you sure you and Damon don't know each other very well? He certainly seemed to know what was going on very quickly, even though he was all the way over at the _bar_. God knows how he managed to get to you so quickly!" She questioned in admiration.

"Yes, he is a marvel. But he's still an ass." I stated.

"Did you two date or something?" She asked in speculation, suspicion evident in her voice.

"God no! He's gorgeous but he's way too annoying!" I explained.

"Hmm…" Caroline murmured, her eyes drifting to where Damon and Alaric were sat, a half empty bottle of bourbon between them.

"Care do you mind if I go? There's someone I really need to go and see." I asked her politely, suddenly remembering what I'd forgotten to do yesterday.

"Sure, that's fine. Promise me we'll hang out again though? I've really missed you 'Lena." She replied with a kind smile, her eyes crinkling slightly.

"I've missed you too Care. Text me later and we'll arrange something." I told her before sliding from the booth and walking towards the exit, waving briefly over my shoulder.

* * *

"Sorry I neglected you yesterday, I got a little… tied up. No matter though, I'm here now." I drawled darkly as I entered Isobel's front room to find her sat with her mouth clamped around a young man's neck. "Oh, I see you managed to find yourself a little snack!" I chirped.

Isobel jumped away from her meal and looked up at me with bloodstained lips. "He's the pizza delivery guy. There's another one around here somewhere if you're hungry?" She replied quietly, her body tense and her eyes nervous. "Lola!" She called.

I smirked when a pale skinned woman with bleached wavy hair walked through the double doors on my right, clad in lingerie and nothing else. "Looks like you've been hungry." I observed as I glanced at the number of bite marks scarring Lola's body.

"I guess you could say I've been a little bored. Had to find my entertainment somewhere didn't I?" She remarked bitterly.

"Yes I suppose you did." I agreed as I sat down on the cream couch and crossed my legs.

"What do you want from me? You know I can't tell you where they are." She said gravely.

"No, but you're my best chance of finding him. He might contact you." I replied feeling irritated by the lack of information I had about my father's whereabouts.

"Why can't you just let it go? Elena look at what you've done to yourself." She murmured, her face a picture of concern.

I sighed exasperatedly and gestured for Lola to sit beside me. "I think you're confused Isobel. My dad made me like this. Becoming a vampire just gave me a physical advantage. I don't feel anything because I trained myself to shut it all out. It destroyed me when my mom died and I swore to myself that I'd never feel like that again. I turned so that I could survive and you can't blame me for that. You would have done exactly the same." I explained jadedly.

I brought Lola's wrist to my lips and sank my fangs into the thin flesh. My eyes fluttered shut momentarily and I groaned at the pleasant sensation as the hot elixir ran down my throat. I fixed my gaze on Isobel as I took long, languid gulps and my eyes brightened when I noticed her squirm at my monstrous manifestation. It felt so good to quench the thirst that had flared whilst in the Grill and though full, it was almost impossible to stop before drinking the girl dry.

"I appreciate your hospitality Isobel." I murmured dreamily, my body feeling incredibly powerful and strong.

Isobel closed her slightly gaping mouth and swallowed before giving me a curt nod. "You're welcome." She struggled.

I smirked at her unease and got to my feet, smoothing my skirt down and wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. Moving at a speed faster than that of a cheetah I snapped Lola and the young man's neck, giggling once I stood observing the mangled bodies on the marble floor. "Oops!" I sing-songed, raising my hand to my mouth in mock surprise.

"Elena," Isobel breathed, a helpless look on her plain face.

"I'm sorry, I seem to have broken your toys!" I exclaimed. "Perhaps if you're good I'll bring you a new one tomorrow."

Isobel stared vacantly at me, as if it had finally dawned on her that I had changed from the little girl she once knew and had become a creature capable of unspeakable horrors. She didn't look disgusted or afraid, just intolerably sad. I swallowed thickly at the expression on her face and clenched my jaw, trying as hard as I could to not let her see the waver of conviction in my mind. I couldn't let her effect me. I had accepted who I needed to become a long time ago!

I ran a hand through my unruly curls and strutted out the room, my heels sounding too loud in the eerie house. I felt suffocated all of a sudden and panicky and I was almost panting by the time I got into my car. This was pathetic! Vampires are not supposed to have anxiety attacks! It made no sense to have this ridiculous reaction over something that I'd made peace with such a long time ago, yet I was. Tears ran down my cheeks as memories of my father's visits flooded my mind, a small voice in the back of my head telling me that I was just as bad. Were my plans of destroying him making me become like him? God… I couldn't think of anything worse than that, and the idea filled me with a crushing despair that threatened to tear me apart.

* * *

**A slightly longer chapter this time! ****Thank you so much to everyone that is reading my story and please keep reviewing - it really helps to kill the writer's block! :) x**  



	14. Chapter 14

**Damon's POV**

When I walked into the parlor, tossing my leather jacket onto the couch, I noticed Elena sat in an armchair beside the fire with a very expensive bottle of bourbon in her hands. Unfortunately for me, the bottle was now almost empty.

"I've been saving that bottle for a special occasion! I've had it for years! Damn it Elena-" I protested as I approached her, my voice faltering the moment I saw her face. "Hey. What's going on?" I asked a little softer.

Elena seemed to be entranced by the spitting flames, not even acknowledging that I was here. She took a swig from the bottle, making me flinch, and then let out an empty laugh.

"Let's play a game." She drawled sullenly.

"What game?" I asked anxiously, leaning back against the wall beside the fireplace with my arms crossed.

"It's called 'How many people did Elena kill today'." She murmured before consuming more of the amber liquid.

"Elena, how much have you drunk?" I questioned hesitantly.

"Enough to make me warm, but not enough to make me forget."

I winced at the pain seeping into her voice, suddenly worried about what she might have done. "Elena-"

"Don't!" She snapped, her blood-shot eyes flashing to mine for the first time.

This is exactly what I had been afraid of; she was going to break. I stepped away from the wall towards her, but she leapt from the chair and was suddenly on the opposite side of the room; she obviously wanted her distance from me.

"Don't what?" I replied slowly tilting my head to the side in confusion.

"Just whatever you're going to say or do, just don't!" She screamed, her hands clenched tightly enough to make her knuckles white.

She looked like a frightened wild animal; her boisterous curls unruly and falling into her face, her eyes wide and too bright. I could see her barely grasping at her control, as her visage continued to alter between human and vampire. I wasn't sure if she was feeling angry or upset or some other emotion, but settled in the end on hysteria. Was she going to cry or try and kill me?

"Elena what's going on?" Stefan demanded with a deep frown as he entered the parlor behind her.

"Stefan." I warned, trying to communicate with my eyes what was happening.

Stefan swallowed and nodded, taking a stance so as to catch her if she tried to escape; she could be capable of anything in this condition and we couldn't let her get away and condemn Mystic Falls to the wrath of a frenzied Elena.

"Elena calm down." I commanded gently, my hands out in front of me gesturing for her to quieten. "Calm down and tell us what's happened; we can fix it."

"No. No. No." She protested shaking her head quickly with her eyes squeezed shut.

"Elena we don't understand. Stefan and I aren't going to judge you remember? Let us in and we can help." I attempted to soothe.

"Help! How the fuck can you possibly help me?" She screamed, her eyes feral and filled with pain. "There is nothing any of you can do to help! I've had enough! I've had enough!"

"Had enough of what?" Stefan questioned in a loud voice, his eyebrows raised in bewilderment.

"Everything! I don't want to be like this!" She cried, her hands knotting in her dark hair and her eyes darting about frantically.

Before I noticed what was happening Elena had dived out the window, a loud shattering of glass falling like a curtain after her.

"Damon!" Stefan yelled, but I had already seen the silver lapis lazuli ring that was now resting on the old wooden flooring where Elena had previously stood.

Stefan and I raced after her and I flung her burning, blistering body into the shade of the house mercilessly. She was whimpering loudly in agony, her skin a ghastly mess of red burnt flesh, and Stefan chucked a bucket of water over her in an attempt to placate the wounds. I slid my arms beneath her dripping body and carried her back into the boarding house, noticing with relief that her skin was already beginning to heal. She had her hands over her face and her head buried in the crook of my neck, but I was too angry to feel sorry for her. If she thought she was going to get off that easily she could think again. She tricked me into turning her and I'd be damned if I let her kill herself now.

* * *

**Elena's POV**

I landed on the cold and dusty concrete ground with a thump, tossed as if I was a sack of flour. The heavy iron door slammed shut with a frightening bang and I scrambled to my feet in fear, clawing desperately and uselessly at it in the hope that he'd let me out.

"Damon please!" I begged, my lower lip trembling as I stared blearily into Damon's stormy crystal eyes. "Let me out!"

Damon's jaw was taut and his eyes stony in resolve. "You're not going to kill yourself. You can rot in here instead." He spat furiously, the intensity of his gaze making me shrink back into myself. "I'll be back tomorrow with some blood."

"No, wait-!" I yelled panic-stricken, but it was too late; Damon had already slid shut the tiny opening in the door, leaving me without the only glimpse I had of outside the damp and dingy prison. I had never liked small enclosed spaces and my chest tightened painfully as I fell to the floor, loud sobs ripping through my body in terror and utter despair.

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**Just a very short little in between chapter - I hope its okay! Thank you to everyone still reading my story and to those of you who keep sending me reviews, I really like hearing your opinions! :) x**


	15. Chapter 15

**Damon's POV**

"Damon, she's been crying for over an hour now. Don't you think one of us should go down there? I mean she just tried to _kill _herself." Stefan rambled as he paced around the parlor, his hands wringing together.

"No one's going down there until tomorrow. I said I'd take her some blood, but that's the only interaction she's getting with anyone." I replied flatly, my fingertips dancing fluidly across the ivory piano keys in a pitiful attempt at blocking out Elena's distressing sobs.

"But the one thing she wanted more than anything was to kill her dad, so why would she try to kill herself before getting her revenge? Revenge is everything to her. It's the only thing keeping her going. She _slit her throat _because she was that desperate for it." He continued.

"She's probably just playing another game." I muttered.

"A _game_?" He scoffed. "Well it's a pretty high-stakes game then isn't it? I mean how would she have known that we'd save her?"

"She probably didn't. She was just willing to take the risk. That's the beauty of not giving a damn whether you live to see tomorrow or not."

"Its just- Damon _listen _to her! How can you stand it? She- she needs us." He exclaimed in a hurried whisper. "She's in bad shape."

"You don't think I know that?" I snapped sharply, withdrawing my hands from the instrument as I span round on the stall to meet his gaze. The faint scent of Elena's blood seemed repulsive to me as it danced in the air around the room and it haunted me to think of what she was doing down there.

"I don't know how much longer she's going to be able to cope without going… well insane." He explained gently, his eyes fixed intently on mine.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes at him. "Like you can talk. Insanity? One drop of human blood in your system and all hell breaks loose. Remember _Ripper Stefan _brother?" I chided unkindly. "She's a new vampire, she is completely ruled by her emotions. Can't you see that I'm just trying to _help _her? I'm trying to help her control herself. She doesn't want to die – not really. She wants to kill her dad, but I know for a fact that what she wants more than anything is to be saved. She wants someone to save her from the madness that has taken over her. She was hurt and the grieving eventually gave her anger, which then led to an incessant need for revenge and that then fed a frenzied, all-consuming psychosis. What she really wants is for someone to help kill her dad so that she can escape all that. Once her dad is dead she will lose her focus and that will give her the chance to finally accept everything that's happened. She's never going to be the same person that she was but she'll be someone that feels _something_ other than the madness of revenge. She knows what she's doing. It's a high-stakes game but its one that she's more than willing to play."

"You care about her." He stated matter-of-factly, his face smooth and filled with an understanding that made my blood boil.

"And what makes you think that? You know me Steffy I'm _selfish_. I don't give a damn about that scheming bitch or anyone else for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't _understand _her. I don't want to help her because I care. I want to help her because the sooner her dad's dead the sooner she'll get the fuck out of here."

"All she's done since she turned is cause you trouble. There've been plenty of occasions when you've had the chance to kill her but you didn't, and when she tried to kill herself you got so mad that you locked her in the _cellar_. You used to lock _me_ in there. And besides, following your usual logic, you would have killed her the moment you got to know her. You'd have said she's more trouble than she's worth. Damon, surely if you killed her then it wouldn't matter whether she got her revenge or not? She'd be free of the madness then wouldn't she? But no, you can't stand the thought of it. You _can't _kill her can you? So, care to explain to me how you don't give a damn about her? Because I sure as hell don't believe you!" Stefan yelled at me.

Elena's sobs were quieter now but the pain and desolation in them had not faltered in the slightest; the sound was making my head hurt. "I don't care about anyone." I retorted flatly, my jaw twitching with rage.

Stefan's eyes shot open widely as I dived at him, easily tackling him to the ground. I clasped his head in my hands and with a quick jerk of my wrists, snapped his neck.

"Not even you brother." I muttered darkly.

* * *

I had endured for too long. This bitch had crossed the line and my patience had reached its limit. I wasn't feeling considerate anymore. I wasn't feeling anything to be perfectly honest. I was tired of emotions; tired of caring. I wanted to feel that divine rush again. I wanted to feel what it was to be a vampire; free, reckless and heartless. I wanted to break loose from the chains that had been cast around my limbs and commit all the sins that my body had been urging me to. I just wanted to _give in_ to the beauty of my monstrosity. I wanted to hurt. I wanted to _kill._

The charcoal grey tarmac of the abandoned road that curved and weaved through the tall green forest felt cold and damp beneath my body, the cool wind making the leaves of the trees whistle and cast a refreshing breeze across my tired face. I listened intently to the sounds of the woods, the twigs and leaves of the undergrowth snapping and crunching under the movement of various creatures whose blood called out to me despite their foul smell. I opened my eyes slowly to look at the blinking star black sky as I heard a large vehicle approaching, and the corner of my mouth sadistically twitched upwards for a brief moment. I rolled my eyes and listened to the disjointed sound of the clumsy woman's heels breaking the eerie silence of the deserted passageway, as she ran towards my still form.

"Sir, are you okay? Why are you laying in the middle of the road? Hello?" A young female asked, her voice shaking from both the cold and fear.

I blinked lazily as I examined the patterns on the moon's surface, so bright and beautiful yet still so flawed, whilst my fingers flexed and closed slowly in soundless anticipation. "No, I'm not okay." I replied flatly.

"What's wrong?" She asked anxiously. Her hands rubbed her arms in an attempt to create some warmth, making the leather of her jacket produce a pleasant crinkling sound.

"I- I think I'm lost. I need help." I heard myself murmur, my voice sounding chilling to my own ears.

"I'm gonna go and get someone. I won't be a second; my phone's in my car." She explained shakily.

I gave her a moment before leaping from the floor and pinning her to the frame of her car in a flash that disorientated me slightly thanks to my heady drunken state. The girl screamed and I shook my head desperately at her, my eyes burning slightly for some unknown reason. "Don't be afraid." I whispered, my eyes blackening for the compulsion.

Her body instantly relaxed and her face smoothed into a flawless complexion of indifference. "What are you going to do with me? What do you want?" She asked monotonously.

"I don't know. I- I'm looking for something… something is missing…" I muttered, my voice sounding hoarse.

"Missing?" She enquired, her voice terribly dull and irritating; I was tempted to just snap her neck and prevent others from the misery of meeting such a dreary specimen.

"That _bitch _she's taken something from me. Not in the literal sense of course, but she's taken something. I- I'm not myself. I should have killed her. I still should! But I can't. Shit! When have I ever fucking stopped myself from killing anyone? Its what I do! I'm the bad guy. I kill people and I enjoy it. I'm never going to change. People don't change! So why in hell am I trying to save her? She's manipulative and deceitful and conniving and cold and heartless and insufferable and yet I find myself trying to protect her? That's not me. I don't protect anyone. I can't. The only person I can count on is me! Everyone else turns against me. In the end people always do. Yet, there is something about her – something beautiful and magnificent and captivating. Yes she interests me, but care? Stefan thinks I _care_ about her. The fuck I do!" I spat, my breathing heavy and disjointed as my inner thoughts exploded from my fast moving mouth. "I should have just let the bitch kill herself if that's what she wanted to do! That way at least she'd be off my back! I wouldn't have had to listen to her God damn crying all evening that way! I mean, who does she think she is anyway? I turned her, gave her life, so it is up to me when that life is taken from her. Or perhaps this is just another one of her games. It wouldn't surprise me if I went home to find her spread out on the floor for Stefan, seducing him into letting her out of the cellar. That's if Stefan's even managed to wake up, what with his fucking bunny diet and all."

The young girl's green eyes were gleaming with bewilderment and appreciation when I finally finished my rant and the dark shadows of the night were giving her pale skin a ghastly unreal tinge to it. She was quite pretty and almost definitely entirely innocent, but confusingly this seemed to anger me. I needed to let out my frustration. Elena… she'd turned me into an inferno of rage and tension today and I needed something to take the edge off. I was hungry… maddeningly hungry in fact. But for some reason, some little voice in my head that seemed almost like a conscience, which is what I would have called it had I believed I had one, was telling me that this girl didn't deserve the suffering I wanted to inflict upon her. Unfortunately, it was this exact voice that made me lunge forwards and ravenously rip into the curve of her neck. The girl's high pitch scream of agony bounced off the trees and echoed throughout the forest, filling my head and increasing the excitement of the kill. I was merciless and tore the flesh to shreds, her sweet life essence streaming down my throat as I took long greedy gulps.

When she was limp and lifeless in my arms I let her body slip from my grip and fall to the floor with a hideous crack of her skull. My eyes filled with tears and hot blood ran from my gaping mouth as I began to come down from my blood high, my visage holding its vicious form. _This_… _this _is what I'd wanted. Nothing could compare to killing someone in cold blood. My body was quivering with adrenaline and charged energy and I was desperate to revel in it, but something was wrong. The sharp squeezing in my chest hadn't ceased and I still hadn't managed to get the sound of Elena's heart-broken cries out of my head. She needed me. I was the only person in the world that she had let in and I had tossed her into a dark, freezing cold cellar that I knew acted as her personal hell. I'd probably given her that last push that she'd needed to completely turn off her humanity and considering everything she'd been through, it could take centuries to get her to turn it back on. But that was better wasn't it? Better than her being a pile of burnt ashes? I couldn't think of anything worse than that. It would be an injustice to let any harm to come to her beautiful face. She… she just needed help. She needed help to move on from all the shit that she'd been served as a human. Why didn't she understand that I was just trying to help her?

* * *

I stood hesitantly at the top of the stairs to the cellar, hating myself for even thinking about going to her. But I knew I'd never be able to sleep if she was whimpering like this. I was familiar with this kind of sobbing now and I'd known as soon as I'd walked back into the house that she was having another nightmare.

Cursing myself under my breath I walked down to the cellar door and slid open the tiny breach so I could view the gloomy space. Elena was curled into a tight ball covered in a layer of sweat, dried blood coating both her body and the dusty concrete floor. I unbolted the door and shrewdly slid in, closing it again behind me so she wouldn't try and escape if she woke up. I sat on the floor beside her and lifted her head into my lap, stroking her hair and shushing her as I invaded her troubled mind.

After a little while I closed my eyes, finally feeling as if I could rest now that she was quiet and content.

"Damon?" Her almost inaudible voice murmured hoarsely, a hand curling around my thigh and her head nuzzling me slightly.

I started a little but quickly composed myself. "Yes?"

"You reek of blood. It-its hurting me." She explained with a sob.

I wrapped my arms around her body and lifted her so she was now sat in my lap. I tucked her messy curls behind her ears and smiled sadly as her agonising, now almost black doe-eyes met mine. I felt guilty; I couldn't help it. She was so pale and sickly, her lips chapped and her face drained of all blood. She'd evidently been hurting herself in here and had very little blood left in her system. Tears filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks, leaving pretty little glossy trails in their wake. I tightened my grip around her waist with one arm, pulling her body tightly against mine, whilst my other hand slid into her hair and forced her head towards me.

"Damon-" She murmured in a muffled voice against my neck.

"Drink. Take what you need." I whispered, my thumb rubbing a soothing circle on her ribs.

I felt her hesitate for a moment and then I gasped in pain as her incisive fangs tore into my flesh. Her lips clamped down on the wound and a breathy moan escaped my lips as she began to take deep desperate drags of my blood, the pleasure that was now radiating around the rest of my body making me feel like I had liquid-fire scorching through my veins. Elena's hands knotted in my hair and she moved to straddle me in an attempt to get closer to my throat, her head fitting comfortably now in the crook of my neck. I clutched her closer to me and let my eyes fall shut, losing myself in her demonic and sensual embrace. My breathing grew louder and more disjointed as she began to let out little sighs of ecstasy, her hands sliding down my chest and under the hem of my shirt. I shuddered at the feel of her cold fingertips running across the muscles of my torso, my own hands clawing at her back to try and bring her infinitely closer.

"Elena-" I whimpered, not even caring how deliciously weak I was beginning to feel.

Unfortunately Elena had had enough and she extracted her fangs slowly, running her tongue softly over the wounds to close them before pulling back. Her eyes were alive and bright now, glowing magnificently despite the lack of light in the small prison. I gazed at her in wonder, unsure of what she would say or do next. I opened my mouth to say something but she pressed her index finger to my lips and shook her head, then fell against me with her head rested on my chest.

"Goodnight Damon." She whispered softly, her voice empty and detached.

"Goodnight." I replied, swallowing thickly. She was different, vacant; it frightened me. Had she turned it off? Had I really driven her to that?

I sat on the cold floor until I felt numb, Elena cradled gently in my arms as she slept soundlessly. Then I laid her down carefully and covered her small body with my jacket so she wouldn't get cold again; my blood and my body had eventually warmed her icy skin. A large part of me wanted to just stay with her, but I knew that I couldn't. Elena was different. She was either playing a game, or she had finally flipped the switch. It didn't matter which, I knew that I needed to be gone when she woke up. Elena needed to learn. She needed to be able to control herself and deal with her heightened emotions and if I had to lock her up in order to teach her those things then I would. I wasn't afraid of being the bad guy. If I had to be the bad guy then I would be the bad guy and that was something that I was going to make no apologies for. I just needed to keep myself in check. I couldn't keep giving into her like this. I couldn't keep being this weak.

* * *

**Long chapter - yay! I hope it's okay! Thank you to everyone reading my story and to those of you who keep reviewing - the reviews helped so much with this chapter! :) x**


	16. Chapter 16

"I want to be able to breathe again. There is nothing worse than being suffocated." I whispered hoarsely, tears swimming in my eyes as I stared vacantly ahead. Damon's jacket was thick and soft, but still I felt like I was frozen to the bone. It smelt of him, a mixture of leather, blood and that potent smell that was just Damon; it calmed me slightly. Unfortunately, in this circumstance it wasn't quite enough.

"What do you mean?" Alaric's kind, gentle voice asked sadly.

When I hadn't turned up at his apartment that morning he'd called Damon in fear that something had happened to me and immediately came to the boarding house when Damon explained the hysteria of last night. I was surprised the Salvatores had even let him down here, considering I could easily reach through the tiny breach in the wall and pull him close enough to sink my fangs into his neck. Obviously I'd never do that to Alaric, but after my suicide attempt they weren't up to giving me the benefit of the doubt. Alaric must have persuaded them to let him see me, but I knew for a fact that Damon would be listening intently from upstairs to be on the safe side. After all, there was no telling what a hysterical, suicidal, bipolar-like, new vampire was going to do. I wasn't sure I even knew what I was going to do next. What was it Alaric had called Damon? Impulsive. Yes, I was every bit, if not more, impulsive than the raven-haired vampire that had thrown me into the concrete cellar.

"I can't remember the last time I felt like I could breathe. Since my mom died, or maybe even before then, I've felt like I'm drowning. My chest gets so tight and it hurts so fucking much, but I don't know how to cry out for help. Its almost like I have some huge weight pressing down on my chest and I can't breathe. I don't know how to make it stop and I just want it to stop." I explained quickly, my eyes burning as the tears began to spill down my cheeks. "My dad, when he'd hurt my mom badly enough for her to pass out, used to choke me and then he'd start smacking my head against the wall when I cried. It was worse if I made a sound. He- it's difficult to remember him being… well my dad. He wasn't always bad, but then one day he came home and he was just, gone. I don't want to remember any of it, but I can't stop seeing what he did to her. She used to look so horrible and weak and there was always so mu- so much blood. I used to beg him to kill me, but he always said he loved me too much to do that. He didn't love me though; he just wanted to possess me; to possess everything. That's why he killed my mom; he wanted her to become a vampire, so he force fed her his blood and then snapped her neck. She put up a hell of a struggle; you should have heard the noise. I was so frightened, but I'd promised her I wouldn't go in. I went in anyway in the end though, when I heard the snapping of her bones. He broke both her arms and her legs and her spine before he snapped her neck. I don't think he realised she'd refuse to transition. I wanted her to go through with it, but she couldn't stand the thought of becoming what he was; she was worried that she'd end up equally as cruel and inhuman. It was so horrible watching her die. I wanted to die. But the last thing she said was that he shouldn't be allowed to live, that what he'd become was unnatural, and that he needed to die too. I needed to give her at least that; it was the only thing that she'd ever asked of me. But, I haven't been strong enough. I haven't done what she asked. I've killed so many people, Alaric. I've been distracted by Damon and Stefan and Caroline and you. I wasn't supposed to get distracted and start getting sentimental over the life I could have had. The life I should have fucking had. I was supposed to just find my dad and kill him and then kill myself. I deserve to die. But thanks to my stupidity, Damon will never allow that now. I've let him get too close. I let him in. I shouldn't be letting people get close to me; it'll only cause suffering. No matter how many plans I come up with, the desired outcome will always be the same and none of them end with me still alive. But how am I supposed to make Damon understand that? How am I supposed to make everyone understand what a monster I am?" I was screaming now, at Alaric, at the world, and most definitely at _him_. I was so worked up and furious that I was sweating, tears streaming at an unbelievably fast rate down my face. In my rage my visage now represented the very thing I despised and I was suddenly so overwhelmed by everything that I felt like I was going to explode; it hurt like a bitch. "I should never have had to become this. I should have been able to grow up and have a life. I didn't deserve this. I didn't deserve this." I sobbed, my hands covering my demonic face as I fell onto my side and curled into a tight ball.

I continued to cry as I was lifted into a pair of strong arms and cradled against a sturdy, warm chest. I didn't have to look up to know who it was and I wrapped my arms around them and pressed my face into the crook of their neck, breathing in the spicy scent.

"Breathe Elena." His soft velvet voice whispered as he sat down with me in his lap. I felt myself begin to calm as he rubbed my back in soothing circles.

"Why won't you let me die?" I cried, the words sounding like a frenzied plea.

"Because I can't." He replied, his voice strained.

"Yes you can. You kill people all the fucking time. You don't _give a damn_." I protested angrily.

My head was suddenly yanked backwards and I found myself staring into Damon's luminous ice-blue eyes, anger and desperation swimming in their depths. My heart hammered in my chest and I tightened my fists in his soft grey sweater.

"I don't give a damn. But that doesn't fucking mean I want you going anywhere. Okay?" He snapped.

I gave a short nod and looked away from him, wiping my cheeks with the backs of my hands in embarrassment. It only took a minute for the anger to return though. "I bet you've enjoyed having me locked up haven't you?" I retorted nastily, my head snapping back towards him, my gaze locking intensely with his. "Finally getting the chance to punish me for playing you."

"Elena, I'm trying to _help _you."

I scoffed and shook my head in annoyance. "Yeah, and I'm a vegetarian."

Damon threw me off him and I landed on my back on the harsh wooden floor, his foot pressing lightly on my stomach to stop me from moving. "Look, I think you've made it pretty clear that you have trust issues and that you've been through a load of shit, but would you just stop for one minute and try to recognise that I'm not the enemy here? You want to kill your dad and I'm willing to help you do that. Believe it or not, you need me for this. I'm a lot older and a lot stronger than you and your dad put together. Klaus is… a little bit of a problem, I'll give you that, but I've got a hell of a lot more of a chance at destroying him than you do. Just try and forget all your crap for a moment and think about that." He demanded authoritatively.

I gasped when I felt Damon's body press down against my own, his eyes suddenly immediately above mine.

"Have I ever done anything to make you think you can't trust me?" He whispered softly, his hands sliding along my arms so that they were pushed above my head. "Have I ever made you feel unsafe?" He continued, his lips trailing slowly down my neck and down my chest.

My back arched up in response and I let out a shaky breath in an attempt to compose myself. "No. No. Damon stop. I trust you. I trust you." I replied.

"No you don't."

"I do. I do. Just stop and I'll tell you what I've been doing. I promise I'll tell you." I rushed, squirming beneath him to try and escape his hold on my arms.

He pulled me quickly upright and I leant against his chest to steady myself. "Thank you."

"Tell me." He demanded, one hand pushing on the small of my back whilst the other ran through the tangles of my thick tresses.

"I've been visiting Isobel. Don't bother to try and look confused I know that you know her." Damon nodded slowly, his eyes looking wary. "I also know that you 'know how to give a girl a good time'." I muttered with a look of disgust. A devilish smirk played at the corner of Damon's mouth and I yanked sharply on the hair at the nape of his neck in irritation.

"Ow!" He complained with a grimace.

"Sorry." I replied, the words dripping with sarcasm. "Anyway, as I was saying, I've been visiting Isobel. I've taken her daylight bracelet, so she's stuck in her house. I'm trying to get her to tell me where he is, but Klaus has compelled her. I'm just hoping he'll try to contact her. Or maybe he'll come back for her at some point... I don't know. She's the only lead I've got at the moment."

"Elena, if you've taken away her daylight bracelet then she can still leave during the _night_."

"I told her I'd catch her. She can run during the night but she'll have to hide inside during the day, and she knows that'd give me plenty of time to find her and kill her."

"I doubt she thinks you'd kill her. She's known you since you were little, so she's hardly going to feel threatened by you."

"I put my hand through her chest Damon; she knows I'm not joking. Besides, she had a couple of 'friends' that she managed to get her hands on to satiate her blood cravings, but I killed them last time I was there. They were the last people I killed…" I trailed off at the end, allowing Damon to fill in the blanks in an explanation for my latest mood swings.

Damon stepped away from me and walked over to the entrance of the parlor. For a moment I thought he hated me.

"Where are you going?" I asked him in confusion, dread settling in my stomach.

"To see Isobel. Duh." I couldn't help but grind my teeth together at the look of arrogance that had appeared on his annoyingly perfect face.

"Not without me you're not." I responded matter-of-factly.

"Well unfortunately sweetheart, you're not exactly looking presentable enough to be going _anywhere_ right now."

I glanced down at myself quickly in response and when I looked back up I was alone. If he thought I was going to just sit here and wait patiently for him to come back then he was going to be very disappointed; I didn't give a damn about what I looked like.

* * *

**I'm not sure whether I like this chapter or not, but I really wanted to update. I hope it's good enough for you! T****hank you so much to everyone reading my story and please keep reviewing - it really does help the writing process! :) x**


	17. Chapter 17

**Damon's POV**

When I entered the grand entrance hall, I was greeted by the sight of a pale looking Isobel whose face brightened as her gaze fell upon me. She looked just as plain and uninteresting as she did when I last saw her and I began to regret my decision to give her eternal life. I plastered a smile on my face to keep up appearances as she sauntered towards me, her hips swinging in an attempt to look seductive; she had nothing on her ex-lover's daughter. Her hands slid up my chest and wrapped around my neck to pull herself flush against my body. I suddenly found myself wanting Elena's touch, the feel of another woman's hands on my body feeling wrong. I inwardly shook myself and tried to focus. I was by no means a one woman at a time type of guy; I was a dick. I hoped this would just be a momentary lapse of character and not a rerun of what happened with... _her._

"Damon." She purred. "Long time no see."

I ran a finger down her cheek and wrapped my arm around her waist, wiggling my eyebrows at her when I noticed the excitement gleaming in her hazel eyes. "Have we been naughty Miss Isobel?" I teased.

"Maybe. I know I don't even have to ask _you_ that question. You're always getting into all kinds of trouble." She replied playfully.

"Ah ah ah!" I reprimanded as she began to undo the zipper on my jeans.

"Damon Salvatore saying no? Don't tell me Elena's gotten under your skin."

My smile faltered and it took a fair bit of effort to put it convincingly back in place. "Ah Elena. Yes I've heard she's paid you a few visits."

"She used to be a sweet little thing, but I fear she's forgotten her place. She seems to have grown too big for her boots."

"I think we could say the same for you Isobel. After all, Elena and I get along rather well and you seem to have done something to upset her. Is that true Isobel? Have you hurt my friend?" Suddenly I wasn't being playful, and the tense expression on her face cleared up any ambiguity over whether or not she understood the shift in my mood.

"I- I didn't realise she was your friend Damon. And besides, I never laid a finger on her." She protested in a shaky voice. "Also, you told me that you're not capable of emotions. You said you couldn't care, so why does it matter what I may have done to Elena in the past?"

"Yes, I remember saying I couldn't care about _you_. Just to make it clear I don't care about her either, but if there is one thing that I will not stand, it's anyone hurting Elena. Whether you harmed her physically or not is irrelevant to me." I slammed Isobel's body onto the ground harshly, my hand closing around her neck as I smacked her head roughly against the marble flooring.

Isobel yelped and cowered into herself, her eyes squeezed tightly shut. "I should kill you right now for what you've put Elena through." I growled, anger rolling off me in waves.

"I never touched her!" She protested desperately, her voice nothing more than a gasp as her hands pulled uselessly at mine.

"Even if that's true it doesn't mean that you haven't played your part in what's happened to her. And like I said, it's irrelevant to me. You had an affair with him. With your _best friend's_ husband I believe."

"Get off your high horse Damon, you've slept with half the women in America." She wheezed, wincing as I tightened my grip. "I've always loved Grayson. I loved him before they started dating and Miranda knew all along, but it never stopped her. She never loved him like I did. He wasn't loved the way he deserved to be loved."

"You turned him didn't you?" I asked furiously. "Didn't you?" I yelled.

"Yes." She whimpered, her eyes looking up at the ceiling rather than meeting my hot gaze.

Suddenly I felt a blow to my side and found myself in a heap against the far wall. I looked up at a fearsome Elena, her clothes torn and bloody and revealing more flesh than I would have liked. I hated how her state of undress in public even mattered to me. What was she doing here? I'd told her that I was doing this alone. Well, I thought I'd made that clear enough; she wasn't stupid. Why did she have to be so fucking stubborn?

"Elena." I warned, my eyebrows rising in chastisement.

"Don't start Damon. If you thought I was going to just let you waltz into this then you're an even bigger dick than I thought you were. I'm handling this; just because I told you what's going on doesn't mean that you can start taking over." She explained calmly, her hands landing on the sensual curves of her hips.

"I told you that I'd help you so that's what I'm doing. Now stop being such a spoilt, ungrateful bitch or I'll lock you back in the cellar. Please." I added the last word with more than just a hint of sarcasm. Why couldn't she just let me handle this?

"Baby, manners don't suit you so please refrain from using them in future disagreements. If you hadn't used that _please_ then, you may have lasted a little longer in this particular battle." She smiled mischievously and crouched down beside Isobel.

I watched with fascination as a frightened shiver ran through Isobel's body at the gentle touch of Elena's hand in her hair. It was hard to imagine that the two had once been family friends and that Elena was so much younger. The idea of Isobel playing with a five year old Elena at one point seemed impossible to me now. For some reason, I felt an unfamiliar sense of pride fill me as I watched the evil twinkle in Elena's brown doe-eyes and I smiled at her when her gaze flickered up to me.

"Have you and Damon been catching up?" She asked Isobel, her voice soft but terrifying.

"I guess you could say that." She replied, her hand instantaneously reaching up to massage her neck. "I think he cares about you."

Elena scoffed and looked up at me with a teasing expression before dropping her eyes back down to Isobel. "Trust me Isobel, Damon doesn't care about me. But I suppose, yes, if he was going to care about anyone it would most definitely be me."

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Just get on with your point Elena." I commanded.

"I'll do it when I'm good and ready thank you. Let me enjoy myself." She retorted.

"Now, is there anything you'd like to tell me today Isobel?" She asked gently, the kindness and sincerity in her voice shocking me slightly. "You don't need to worry, Damon is back on his leash now."

I opened my mouth to protest but Elena lifted her hand up to silence me.

"Yes." Isobel answered dutifully.

"Yes?" Elena exclaimed, clearly surprised by Isobel's answer. She stood up and walked over to the cream couch, sitting down gracefully despite being clad in little more than shreds of stained material. It was then that I realised she was no longer wearing my jacket. Where the fuck had she left that?

"Grayson and Klaus are coming to Mystic Falls; they're on their way now. Klaus has had some giant house built somewhere in the suburbs and he's going to have a masquerade ball to celebrate… well, just to celebrate being Klaus I suppose." She explained flatly, standing up now to fill a pair of wine glasses with a rich dark liquid that had a tantalising resemblance to blood. God I was hungry. How had I forgotten to feed _again_?

"Interesting." Elena murmured, clearly lost in thought for a moment. "You'll be invited?" She asked Isobel, smiling gratefully as she was handed a glass of wine.

I rolled my eyes when Isobel sat beside her, both sipping on their wine, as I realised I clearly wasn't getting any.

"Of course." She replied with a nod, her eyes wary as I scrutinized her. I wanted to make sure she wasn't playing Elena; no way in hell was she going to hurt her again.

"Do you think you could get the Salvatores invited? I could go as their plus one then. I'd be plenty safe with a brother on each arm I'm sure." Elena enthused, her eyes lighting up in excitement. She turned to me in question and I nodded to her in reassurance, trying my best to be encouraging.

"If that's what you want then I'm confident Grayson will sort it out for me." Isobel added.

"Excellent." Elena replied. I stared at her admiringly as a beautiful, genuine smile spread across her face, revealing her perfectly straight set of white teeth.

"You're not to even so much as mention Elena's name to them." I demanded, my expression menacing and threatening as I fixed my gaze on Isobel. "If you mess up here, things are going to go very badly for you. Do you understand?"

Isobel swallowed thickly and gave me a sharp nod. "Of course." She whispered in a shaky voice.

"You're going to need to be very careful, because if Klaus finds out… he'll rip you to shreds without so much as a second's thought. Don't underestimate his capabilities of being merciless." I stressed.

"Damon, I know what I'm doing. Don't worry; no harm will come to Elena. I'll make sure of it. I've made a lot of mistakes that have gotten me here, and if I can make things right between Elena and I then I'll do whatever it takes." She concluded.

"Thank you Isobel." Elena said sweetly.

My chest tightened at the pain I could see in Elena's eyes, but for once I could see hope there. Maybe killing her dad really was what she needed.

"Well, I should go." Elena announced, draining the last bit of the alcohol in her glass. "I need to go and find a dress!"

"Wait, Elena!" Isobel exclaimed, jumping to her feet and grabbing hold of Elena's arm. "What are you going to do once you get to the ball?"

"I'm not going to kill him if that's what you're asking. But it'll give me the chance to talk to him, and Klaus, without them knowing who I am. I'm going to find out everything I can without revealing my identity to them. I presume I don't need to worry about finding them again after the party? They're planning on staying in Mystic Falls for at least a week or two aren't they?"

"Yes I think so." Isobel replied with a nod. "Just be careful Elena. They're- they're dangerous, and your dad might realise it's you. He's strong and smart and more devious than you remember. Keep Damon and Stefan close to you."

"I'll be back tomorrow." Elena concluded and then walked from the house, an aura of confidence and newfound hope surrounding her.

"Don't let her get hurt Damon." Isobel whispered, trying her best to ignore the tear that fell from her eye.

"I'd rather die." I stated matter-of-factly.

Isobel's mouth fell open but she closed it quickly and nodded to me, the hint of a smile playing at the corner of her mouth. "You do care about her don't you?"

"No." I responded automatically. "But I don't not care about her either." I finished, walking after Elena without looking back.

Isobel was a woman of my past and I didn't want to relive my past. I wanted to look forward now. I wanted to start a new chapter of my life and I had a feeling that Elena might just become the centre that I'd revolve around in that future.

* * *

**Two chapters in two days! Yay! I hope you liked this chapter, it was so easy to write for once. Thank you to everyone still reading my story and please keep reviewing - I really do appreciate it :) x**


	18. Chapter 18

**Damon's POV**

"What the-" I muttered disbelievingly, my eyes wide as I stopped my car behind a stream of parked vehicles inhabiting my driveway. I got out slowly and looked up at the boarding house; it was lit up like a Christmas tree. Music was blasting out loudly enough that I could feel it reverberating in my chest, but still the voices of what sounded like thousands of people could be heard.

"Hey." A young attractive woman, of whom I'd never seen before, flirted with a wink as she walked unsteadily past me. After taking another look at the house I noticed that there were adolescences everywhere, seemingly overflowing from the building. I screwed my nose up in distaste at the sounds of vomiting and drunken teenage love declarations. Infuriated, I clenched my jaw and stormed towards the party in search of an explanation.

Once inside I had to put a lot of self-restraint into practice. There were people everywhere; hanging off the banisters, climbing on the furniture, lying asleep in a puddle of alcohol, etc. I wanted to kill Elena. But despite my rage I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face as my gaze fell upon her. She was on top of the table along with a couple of others, but I didn't have to look around to know that all eyes were on her. She was the focal point at this party, as she probably had been at every other party she'd ever attended. Clad in very short shorts and a loose tank top that revealed more skin than it covered, she was spinning and jumping round and round in a circle with an expression of pure ecstasy on her face. Her lively mahogany curls were fanned out as she span and they tangled around her up stretched arms. She looked so young and _free_; maybe this was how human Elena would have turned out had it not been for her dad.

I quickly snapped out of my entrancement when I noticed the bottle of bourbon that she was impressively downing. That was _my _fucking bourbon and she wasn't even drinking it respectfully. I seriously needed to get a lock for that damn cabinet.

"Damon!" She yelled excitedly, her face lighting up adorably as she spotted me.

I groaned with a grimace as a group of teenage girls approached me with goofy smiles on their faces, blocking her from view. Elena was going to pay for this.

"So you're Damon." The bravest of the six asked, one eyebrow rising suggestively. "Fancy getting me a drink?"

"Hmm, that'd be a no." I replied, mocking her high-pitched tone as I brushed past her.

"Asshole." I heard them mutter from behind.

I scanned the room quickly in search of the seductive vampire and clenched my jaw when I found her leaning against the wall with a wicked smirk on her face. Jealousy bubbled up inside me when I saw some guy from the football team approach her, his hands playing with the strap of her top, which was no longer even on her shoulder. Drunken women usually disgusted me, but Elena was something else entirely. I could see her black lace bra from here and I hated that she was flaunting herself in front of all these people. I began charging towards the two of them when I noticed her hand clamp around the back of his neck as she pulled him towards her. Anyone else here would have thought they were embracing, but I knew the real reason why she'd tucked her head into the curve of his neck. I watched cautiously and let out a sigh of relief when she pushed him away a couple of moments later, her eyes flashing to mine smugly.

She pressed herself flat against the wall as I finally reached her, a dangerous glint in her eye as she bit her lip. Her eyes were bright and full of life in a way I'd never seen before; she looked... _happy_. However, it wasn't quite enough to repress my anger and as soon as she was in reaching distance I roughly grabbed hold of her arm and yanked her against me.

"What the fuck is going on?" I snapped, my eyes wild and intense as I stared into her brown depths. I brushed my thumb across the skin just below her lower lip gently, wiping away the remnants of her meal.

"I'm having a party, duh." She teased playfully, her body curling into mine as I continued to stare at her bloodstained lips.

"Hey Matt, Elena's got a new boyfriend!" Some stupid idiot called from beside us. I rolled my eyes and snapped my head round to look at him, my expression flat and callous. The well-built, dark haired brute gulped and quickly walked off in a different direction.

Elena's fingertips ran along my jaw until I was facing her again, a small smirk playing on her soft mouth. "If you're not going to let me die, I might as well enjoy myself a little. You've really only got yourself to blame for all this." She whispered in a gentle voice, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

I tightened my grip on her and she winced slightly before starting to laugh.

"Where's Stefan?" I demanded, refusing to play this little game of hers.

"Out; trying to find you I believe." She replied with a shrug.

I pulled my phone from my back pocket and nodded with frustration when I saw the series of missed calls. Of course he couldn't sort this out himself. Did I have to do fucking everything? "Perfect. Just perfect." I muttered. "I need a drink."

Elena lifted the bottle of bourbon up and wiggled her eyebrows at me in challenge. "Want to celebrate with me Damon?" She asked.

I stared silently at her for a moment and then snatched the bottle from her moodily, sauntering towards the stairs in hope of refuge. I hated teenagers and right now I was beginning to resent Elena. No matter what I did, she still managed to walk all over me.

* * *

**Elena's POV**

It was silly, but I felt a little bit rejected when Damon walked away. He was pissed off, I knew that, but I'd thought he'd lighten up a little.

"Elena!" I heard a familiar voice call from behind me.

I span around and smiled as an over-excited Caroline ran over to me, her arms outright to help her balance in her heels. "Hey Care."

"I saw that!" She exclaimed.

"Excuse me?"

"You and Damon; I saw it. My God I could feel the sexual tension from the other side of the room!"

"I've already told you, he's. An. Ass." I replied earnestly.

"So why were you so up close and personal then?" She challenged, her head tilting to the side and her hands landing on her hips.

"We're just kind of intense. He was pissed off and I was teasing him, that's all."

"Right." She didn't believe me _at all_.

"Look, can I ask you a favour?" I questioned, quickly changing the subject.

"Only if you admit that something is going on between you and Damon." Persistent, as always.

"Chemistry, we have chemistry, but other than that, I'm sorry no. So, I've been invited to this masquerade ball thing in like a week and I _really _need to find a dress. I was hoping maybe you'd come shopping with me and help me pick one out? It's kind of super important."

Caroline began jumping up and down and squealing a little; alcohol had made her even more excitable and enthusiastic than usual. "Of course! Oh my God, who're you going with?"

I rolled my eyes when I thought of my answer. "Damon," I began, shaking my head to stop her from squealing again. "And Stefan as well."

"Two dates?" She asked incredulously. "How is it I still don't have a date for the school dance in a couple of weeks and you've got _two_?"

"Well they're brothers, so it doesn't really count."

"Elena Gilbert, are you playing with _both_ of them?" She asked inquisitively, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"I wouldn't say _that,_ but I don't want to leave anyone out now do I? That'd just be cruel." I replied wickedly, a smirk tugging at the corner of my mouth.

"I love your lipstick!" She exclaimed suddenly, her gaze fixed on my mouth.

My smile faltered for a moment; they had originally been stained with dark red lipstick, but it was likely that it was now a concoction of lipstick and Ben's blood.

"God it's so _dark_. When did you become all sultry and mysterious?" She asked with a giggle.

"I needed a change; the old me was so boring. Now I can get pretty much whatever I want." I explained.

"You've always been able to get whatever you want Elena. You've had people wrapped around your little finger ever since I met you." She pressed.

I swallowed thickly and found myself unable to look at my best friend. "That's not true Caroline and you know it. I've gotten a lot of shit I didn't want."

"Elena that's not what I-" She began, but I had already turned and started walking away. "I'm sorry!" She yelled from behind.

I lifted my hand up when I heard her trying to follow me, signalling for her to stop; I didn't feel like talking to her anymore.

* * *

I kicked my converse off upon entering Damon's bedroom and flung myself melodramatically on the bed. "People suck." I mumbled into the sheets. "They shouldn't be allowed to speak."

"Elena go and find someone else to complain to, I don't want to play games with you today because 1. Klaus and your father are coming home any minute now and so we need to create some sort of real and functioning plan and you're obviously not in the right frame of mind to do so, and 2. you've basically trashed my house, and 3. your ridiculous baby vamp mood swings are making me feel homicidal." Damon muttered moodily from the other side of the room as he gazed out of the floor-to-ceiling bedroom window, bourbon bottle in hand.

I rolled onto my back and stared at the dark wooden ceiling, a sigh escaping my lips. "I'm sorry." I said softly, the words causing me physical pain as I uttered them.

"For what? Making me turn you when I had no intention? Attempting to kill my uncle? Being blindly reckless and leaving a trail of bodies that could have exposed us? Stealing my car? Running away to New York and dropping off the face of the earth? Constantly attacking Stefan and me even though we've done nothing but try to help you? Playing with me again and again and making me actually give a damn about you? Or I don't know, trying to fucking _kill yourself_?" Damon shouted. He had turned to face me now, his eyes a sharp ice blue, intense as they burned into mine. He was trembling slightly, his jaw taut and his hands clenched; how the bottle he was holding hadn't shattered I didn't know.

I quickly flashed over to him, cupping his face softly in my hands and brushing my thumbs across his prominent cheekbones. He growled slightly but made no move to push me away.

"I'm sorry for the party and trashing the house a little." I answered gently. "But I'm not sorry for anything else. I know I'm a bitch, you don't need to remind me, but I'm not going to apologise for doing what I need to do in order to get what I want. I was a weak human, I didn't fight and because of that my mom died and I have to live with that guilt for the rest of my existence. But _now_, I'm going to try my damn hardest to win the fucking war. I don't expect you to be okay with it or to accept it, but it's what I'm going to do. You were just part of the plan; I needed you in the equation because I needed you to turn me. No one has ever offered to help me before, or my mom, and honestly it frightens me. You're a risk Damon. Do you have any idea how difficult it is for me to try and trust you? My mom told me just before she died _not_ to trust people. 'The only person you can count on is _you,_' she'd told me. But I've let you in and I've trusted you to help. The one thing I will not do though is change. I'm not going to change for you and become the submissive little girl that you thought I was that first night; that's what I was for _him_ and I won't do it ever again. So get mad at me, tell me to stay the hell away, stake me, do whatever you want, but don't make me apologise for the things I do or the way in which I act. I protect _myself_ now and everyone else is just collateral damage."

Damon's face had softened by now and had a sympathetic touch to its appearance. "Elena, it's not your fault your mom's dead. Any attempt you might have made to try and stop your dad would've been completely futile. You'd of just both ended up dead instead."

I shook my head and dropped my hands to my sides. "At least I would've _tried_. If it had been the other way around my mom would never have stopped fighting, not until he pulled her heart from her chest. But I was a coward and I just _sat there_."

"You're fighting now. And trust me, a coward would've never been able to slit her own throat to become something she hated; that took guts."

"It's too late though isn't it? I can avenge her, sure, but I can't _save _her. I'm never going to be able to save her. And never say it was brave to slit my throat because it wasn't brave in the slightest. A person that kills themselves in order to save another or in order to win a war, that's brave. In truth, I just wanted it over one way or another. If I woke up again then that was great, I could kill my dad. If I didn't then that was great too. Damon don't you see? I _want to die_. I would never have thrown myself out into the sunlight the other day if I didn't because I'm not brave or self-sacrificing enough to ever do that. I just didn't think I could take it anymore. I'm fucking messed up Damon. In trying to kill my dad I've managed to become him. How can I look into his eyes as I stake him and say he deserves to die when I deserve exactly the same fate? Him and me, we're equals now. Like sick monstrous father, like sick monstrous daughter."

Damon remained calm throughout my outcry and gently tucked my hair behind my ears, his eyes warm and understanding. "Hey, don't talk like that. You're not your dad. You care; you wouldn't want to kill him so much if you didn't. And you're much braver than you know. For someone who has been through as much shit as you have, it takes a lot of courage to even think about trusting someone again, but you trust me, and you trust Stefan. I saw the way you spoke to Isobel earlier, and the way you speak to Ric and Caroline. You're not sick or monstrous; you're just hurt. I see it in your eyes all the time and I also see your compassion. I mean, how many times have you despaired over the people you've killed? You hurt because you care and because whether you like it or not you're still _you_. Those things don't just go away when you become a vampire Elena. It's harder to suppress your emotions as a vampire because everything is heightened, so right now you're more like the real you than you've probably been in a long time and I think you know that and I think it frightens you."

I nodded slightly, my body warm and humming with the awareness of his touch. I watched with fascination as his gaze dropped to my mouth and, feeling slightly breathless, I allowed my own eyes to fall to his pillow-soft lips. My eyes began to flutter shut as I felt his nose lightly brush mine, one hand carefully sliding through my hair to pull me closer, when a shrill ring sounded. Reluctantly we stepped apart and with a frustrated expression on his face Damon pulled his phone from his back pocket.

"Brother. To what do I owe the pleasure?" He drawled irritably.

For a short moment the two of us just stared at one another and then I turned around and headed back down to the party.

* * *

**Thank you for reading - it really means a lot! :) x**


	19. Chapter 19

It had been a couple of days since I'd seen anyone and it was the first time in what felt like years that I'd actually been relatively at peace. Of course I should have expected that it wouldn't last long, but I'd been by myself for so long now without allowing anyone to get close that I'd forgotten what it was like to have someone look out for me. The idea of someone even thinking about me, or my well-being, seemed absurd. Obviously I'd been stupid to have thought that locking myself away all those months would make everyone forget I existed; my friends never forgot and it'd been cruel to abandon them without an explanation. Although, considering what was going on, how could I have ever explained it to them?

I sighed contentedly as I woke up, the sun feeling warm and delicious on my closed eyelids and cheeks. I felt better rested than I had done in weeks and my bed felt too cosy and warm to ever warrant leaving it ever again. I nuzzled further into a pair of soft yet strong arms with a smile on my face. My eyes snapped open in a flash and I darted into an upright position, wincing at the sudden brightness.

"Good morning sleepyhead." Damon chirped, an arrogant smirk on his face as he looked up at my dazed expression. He looked unbelievably cool and collected, as if it was completely normal to be found in my bed uninvited at God knows what hour.

I swatted his chest and ran my hand through my messy hair. "What time is it?" I mumbled sleepily.

Damon chuckled slightly and then pulled me back down to him; his hands slid lusciously slowly under the hem of my vest and against my feverish skin, his fingertips beginning to trace patterns on my naked back. I couldn't help the delighted shiver that ran down my spine at his gentle touch and I let my eyes flutter closed again. His grey sweater felt soft on my face, the heat of his body seeping pleasantly into my skin and I noticed with pleasure that I could feel the muscles of his chest beneath my hands.

"About six." He replied quietly, his voice possibly more gentle than I'd ever heard it.

"_Damon_," I whined softly. "I didn't go to sleep until like three or something stupid."

"Well go back to sleep then." He whispered enticingly, one hand sliding up to rest in between my shoulder blades whilst the other continued massaging my lower back.

"Why are you here?" I murmured, nibbling at my bottom lip at his ministrations.

"I came to check on you. You weren't sleeping well." I felt his lips press briefly to the top of my head, but I was too tired to think much of the loving gesture despite how out of character it was.

"Nightmares." I answered drowsily as way of explanation. "Why did you stay?"

"I- Klaus and Grayson could be back any minute. I- I was worried about you. I didn't want to leave you alone." His voice sounded shaky and disjointed. _I was worried about you_, he'd said.

"I knew you cared." I whispered almost inaudibly with a smirk before slipping back into unconsciousness.

* * *

I frowned when I woke up a second time, immediately suffering the loss of Damon's body warmth. I opened my eyes slowly and lazily rolled onto my back with a small huff.

"I was beginning to think you'd died." A familiar dark velvet voice drawled. "Other than the baby jabber, you were totally unresponsive."

I let out a little squeal of surprise and then yanked the pillow from beneath my head and hurled it towards the window seat where Damon was sat.

"You're such an _asshole_." I complained, rubbing my temples with my thumb and forefinger to try and clear my groggy head.

"Yeah, so you've said, _repeatedly_. Now, get out of bed and pack you bags."

"Excuse me?" I replied incredulously.

"Elena the dumb act does not work when you're a vampire, I know _for a fact_ you can hear me."

"_Asshole_. Now please kindly tell me where the fuck I'm going?"

"Tut tut tut Elena, that wasn't a very nice word. Are we not a morning person? I always thought you'd be a jolly, flower-picking kind of person at this hour." Damon teased.

"_Damon_." I snapped.

"The boarding house. You're going to live with Stefan and me for a little while." He explained matter-of-factly.

I raised my eyebrows in challenge. "I don't think so. I'm perfectly fine here thank you."

"Come on, pack your bags, we're leaving." He said, obviously in no mood to argue. He walked over to me and grabbed my wrist, tugging me to my feet and out of the warmth of my bed. Goose bumps sprouted across my skin and a shiver ran unwillingly down my spine.

I tried to escape his hold on me but he was too strong, so with my free hand I threw a punch at him. It was a damn good punch, Alaric had been teaching me well, but unfortunately Damon was too quick for me and easily caught my fist in his other hand. I breathed unevenly as his head bowed towards mine, his eyes flicking between my brown orbs and my lips. His diamond eyes were bright and fierce and full of rage, making them look stormy and mesmerising. Suddenly my body was being pressed into the far wall by his warm lean body, my arms locked in his iron grip on either side of my head in a surrendering position. It reminded me of the first night we met, except this time I didn't hate him. How could I hate him? He was arrogant and controlling and frustrating, but he was good despite everything. Even with everything my dad had done it wasn't quite enough to stop the pull I felt towards this creature who was so different from him, yet still so the same.

"Don't _ever _do that again." He ordered, his voice unsteady in his anger. "We're _leaving_."

"No." I argued, refusing to back down. His eyes flashed as a wave of heat crashed within them, his gaze snapping up to my own eyes with a piercing intensity. He pushed his body further into mine, his nails biting into my wrists slightly. I watched with fascination as the anger in his features began to disappear, leaving a tense desperation that silenced all the arguments that hovered upon my lips.

"Elena, _please_ just pack your bags and come back to the boarding house with me. Your dad could arrive at any moment and he's almost definitely going to come here first, I think we can guarantee that. You're not safe here. I can look after you if you come back with me, protect you." He pleaded, his eyes falling to my lips once more. My back arched as his forehead fell to rest against mine and I stared with wonder at his closed eyes and long eyelashes before shutting my own. "Please Elena." He whispered, his nose lightly brushing against my own in a sort of Eskimo kiss. My heart felt heavy as it quickly beat, trying it's best to keep up with my laboured breathing. My tense body melted as his lips gently pressed against mine, a sigh of relief escaping me. It was one of those intense, long, languid kisses that made me weak in the knees and I was thankful that he was holding my body up against the wall. I growled in frustration at my inability to touch him and with all my force pushed against him until we fell to the floor. Damon looked up at me with dark, lust filled eyes, his face more beautiful and vulnerable than I had ever seen it before. Gently he brushed my curls back from my face and tucked them behind my ears, a small but dangerous smirk forming at the corner of his delectable mouth.

"How long?" I asked him softly as I sat up, one leg either side of his body. My heart was beating rapidly at the desire in his eyes, which shone now with unspoken promises that unfurled a pool of heat in the pit of my stomach.

His hands slid tantalisingly up my bare thighs with an almost painful slowness and began playing with the lace of my underwear, his facial expression contemplative. "How long till he's here? Or how long will you have to live with us?"

"The latter."

Damon's fingers slipped slyly beneath the thin material and began gently massaging my hipbones. I shook my head quickly in an attempt to clear the misty haze that had settled in my mind. "Until he's dead I guess. He's going to be looking for you when he finds out you're not at home. He'll probably have people watching your house just to make sure you don't turn up."

"You're not going to throw me back in the cellar are you?" I joked.

"Not if you stop being reckless and stupid."

I pursed my lips and looked away from him as realisation set in. "I'm going to be under house arrest aren't I?"

Damon's hands stilled for a moment and then gave me a quick squeeze of reassurance. "I just want to keep you safe."

I nodded curtly and got to my feet, heading towards the bathroom without looking back at him. "I'm going to freshen up, I'll meet you in the car in about half an hour." I called as I shut the door.

I sat on the edge of the bathtub and closed my eyes. This was really happening; my dad was really coming back to Mystic Falls. My hands began to shake as the memories of past homecomings flickered quickly through my brain. I wasn't prepared. Nothing was happening like it was supposed to. I'd let Damon get way too close to me and now he was going to ruin it all. I knew he would never let me go after my dad alone; he would insist on coming with me and he would get hurt and it would all be on me. _Damn him_. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't relieved to finally have someone share the weight of it all, but the thought of him getting killed when that was my fate alone was unbearable. He cared about me and I cared about him too; I was too exhausted to fight against it anymore. My mom would have hated me for being so weak. _The moment you let yourself care… that will be the moment of your downfall. Emotional attachment is the gateway to self-destruction and, Elena, it'll be the destruction of everyone around you._

* * *

When I walked back into my bedroom a few minutes later I felt both determined and miserable. I packed my things quickly, not really bothered all that much about what I took, and pulled on a pair of skin-tight black jeans, a plain white t-shirt and some converse. I grabbed the picture of my mom and me from my desk and took off running down the stairs, out the house and slid gracefully into the passenger seat of the car.

"You okay?" Damon asked from beside me, his voice laced with concern.

I turned to look out the window, not able to meet his gaze, and gritted my teeth as I urged myself not to cry. _It'll be the destruction of everyone around you._

"Elena?" He whispered worriedly as he reached over to comfortingly massage my thigh.

"Just drive Damon." I replied quietly.

* * *

**I'm really sorry it's taken me so long to update, there really is no excuse considering I've had six weeks off. Thank you so much for all sticking with me and I hope this chapter makes up for it a little bit :) Hopefully now that Damon and Elena are going to be living together we'll get to see them open up a bit more and maybe see a bit more light-heartedness! Please keep reviewing, I love hearing what you think! x**


	20. Chapter 20

I stood silently at the window in what I now considered my room of the boarding house and looked out at the forest, fascinated by all the tiny details that my new vision allowed me to see. I leant my forehead against the glass and wrapped my arms around myself, the surface instantly cooling my heated skin. I felt awful and unbelievably vulnerable and small. I hadn't spoken a word to Damon since I first got in the car, and then I'd automatically headed upstairs the moment we arrived. Somehow kissing him had made everything so much worse because even though I wanted to deny it, it had meant something to me, and that frightened me more than anything else I'd experienced since I'd turned because it meant that now I had something to lose. I felt trapped and afraid. I didn't want him to get hurt, but he was stronger and smarter than me in everyway and there was no way I could stop him from protecting me if that's what he wanted to do. There was no way I could escape now; I wouldn't be allowed to find my dad by myself. It was entirely my own fault. I had continued to taunt him and use him after he'd turned me, keeping him close rather than at a distance, as I should have done. Then I let him in, let him see all the pain and the misery and the secrets that I'd protected from the rest of humanity. I'd accepted his help and his comfort and I'd let myself need him, and possibly even let him need me too.

I banged my head against the glass as I squeezed my eyes shut, my chest tightening in pain as I heard someone enter the room behind me. A warm hand ran lightly down my tense back, but I didn't move or speak. Pillow-soft lips brushed against the skin where my neck met my shoulder and I choked on an unexpected sob, quickly lifting my hands to cover my face.

"It'll only be for a couple of weeks Elena." Damon's velvety voice whispered.

I shook my head and took a deep breath before turning around with resolve, my jaw taut in exertion. I wasn't going to burden him with my pain anymore. I'd learnt to be strong and bottle everything up to protect the people I cared about before, and I knew that I could do it again. It hadn't been easy to walk away from my friends after my mom had died, but sometimes caring about someone meant letting them go. I was a hazard to anyone that felt anything towards me, I knew that and I'd be damned if I continued to hurt people. I'd seen enough to know that Damon was hurt and damaged more than most and I couldn't bear to contribute to that pain. I was strong enough to push him away, for his own sake.

"That's not the problem Damon." I replied in a flat, alien voice that took me by surprise.

Damon's soft blue eyes widened a fraction before suddenly filling with sadness and apprehension. "Here, I brought you some blood. I assumed you hadn't fed in a while."

"Thank you." I murmured, taking the tumbler from his hands gratefully. I lifted it to my lips and took a sip, my eyes instantly falling shut as my taste buds leapt and danced with both pleasure and relief.

"You're welcome." He replied when I handed him back the now empty glass, his voice strangely quiet. He stared into the glass for a moment before almost shyly raising his eyes to meet mine.

I swallowed thickly at the intensity and compassion that radiated from them, white-heat scorching through my body when he brushed the back of his hand across my cheek. I couldn't help the sigh that escaped my lips as I leant into his touch, though my mind was screaming at me to focus. "Damon," I began almost inaudibly.

"It's okay." He interrupted. "I know what you're going to say."

I frowned and opened my eyes to see a sad smile on his perfect face. "What?"

"'I can't.' That's what you were going to say, isn't it?"

I took a deep breath and nodded slowly, a bitter taste of regret in my mouth. I was hurting him, I knew that, but it was a lot less painful than the alternative. "I-"

"You don't have to say anything Elena. I know."

"Know what?" My eyes kept falling to his lips unintentionally, the memory of the way they felt moving against mine all too fresh in my mind.

"That you're scared. That you can't bear to feel anything."

My gaze snapped up to his icy-depths and I quickly pulled out of his embrace, my head shaking quickly in protest. "That's not it Damon."

"Yes it is, you just don't want to admit it to yourself. You feel something for me and you're afraid that I'll hurt you." He pressed delicately, his arms now at his sides.

"No, that's not true. I'm just trying to focus on the plan. You know that's all that matters to me." I argued, my nails biting into my palms.

"Maybe before, but not now." He dismissed with a small shake of his head. His hair looked incredibly dark in the dim, grey light that poured through the window, his skin as smooth and pale as the moon.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I replied exasperatedly, brushing past him to the bed where my clothes lay strewn about.

Damon was quick to follow me and grabbed hold of my wrist, spinning me back round to face him. "There's something here between us, and I know it's not just me; you can feel it too. You're lying to me and you're lying to yourself because you're afraid. You cared about your dad and he hurt you in a way that should have completely crippled you, and I think it almost did, and now you're afraid that I'll hurt you too." He urged, his voice almost desperate.

"Damon, stop it. Let go of me." I replied emptily.

I winced inwardly as I watched his eyes freeze over and walls that I knew all too well quickly being built around him to hide the pain. He dropped my wrist and it took all the restraint I had to not reach out for him, to tell him that I was sorry. I started at the sound of a doorbell being rung, the insistent chiming breaking the tense air surrounding the two of us.

"Caroline." Damon murmured flatly.

"How do you know?" I asked, bemused.

"I called her for you. The ball is in a couple of days and I know you still haven't got a dress; I thought you'd want to see her." He explained, his voice sounding devastatingly detached. But, despite his best efforts, I could still see a flicker of throbbing pain and longing in his eyes, a feeling that was clawing aggressively at my own chest.

I nodded and looked down at my shoes for a brief moment before looking back up at him from beneath my long, dark lashes. He looked fierce like a lion suddenly, his eyes like ice-fire and as piercing as a dagger to the heart. He didn't move as I quickly changed into heels and slipped on an open denim shirt over my white tee. Hearing that Stefan had let Caroline in downstairs, I sauntered over to Damon, noticing with satisfaction that his Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped. I leant in close to his ear, sighing as his hands automatically ran up my sides. "Don't underestimate me Damon." I whispered softly, smirking when I noticed him shiver. "I know you. I know that you'll never hurt me like he did. But I can't promise you the same, and I'm sorry for that."

Damon grasped my shoulders roughly and yanked me back so he could see my face, a deep frown line marking his forehead. "You-"

"No." I interrupted. "Don't say anything. Not now at least."

He opened his mouth as if to protest and quickly closed it again, giving me a curt nod instead.

"I'll see you later." I whispered, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek before leaving him alone in the bedroom. It hurt to think he was so sure that I would doubt him, that it would never cross his mind that I was the problem, that I was the person I didn't trust to not inflict pain. Yes, caring about him exposed me to pain, but I was my father's daughter after all; I was what he made me. If I was anything like him then Damon was safest as far away from me as he could possibly get.

* * *

"Hey Care." I greeted in a friendly tone, trying my best to push down all the unhappy thoughts as I approached her.

"Elena! I was worried you weren't going to talk to me again, but then Damon called and said you wanted to go dress shopping and I was so relieved!" She exclaimed, surprising me when she wrapped her skinny arms tightly around me.

I laughed half-heartedly, squeezing my eyes shut for a short moment. "I'm sorry Caroline, I was having a rough day, and it wasn't your fault. I'm not used to this whole speaking thing anymore though, so if I don't call you its probably just because I forgot."

Caroline stepped back and looked at me with a look of relief on her face. "Okay then." She replied pleasantly. "Now, dress shopping! I've called Julia to say we're coming into the store, so she's pulling out all the prettiest ones ready for when we arrive."

"This sounds expensive." I replied with a shake of my head.

"Yeah well, it'll be worth it! Come on, let's go; I've parked out front in their _massive_ driveway."

I was just about to follow Caroline out the door when Damon suddenly appeared in front of me, making me leap back in fright. An evil smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth as he surveyed my flustered state and I couldn't help but giggle when he began wriggling his eyebrows at me. "You're such an asshole." I muttered.

"You should put your coat on, it's chilly out here." He drawled, my coat suddenly appearing in his hands.

I frowned at him as he slipped it around my shoulders, keeping my eyes on him whilst I slid my arms into it. "You're worried I'm going to catch a cold now?" I mocked.

"No, I just don't want you asking for my jacket in half an hour's time." He replied with a roll of his eyes, as if he was trying to explain geometry to a toddler.

"Excuse me… what?" I asked.

"Well I'm coming with you. Did you really think that I'd brought you to live with us to then just immediately let you waltz around town alone?"

"_Damon_," I warned. "No. Caroline and me are going _dress shopping_. You can't seriously tell me that you're going to sit there and watch me trying on dresses for an hour. I mean you're a _guy_."

"Elena, I've been alive for over a century and a half now, I'm quite capable of sitting patiently for an hour, despite being a member of the male sex. Besides, I have no problem with watching you undressing."

"You won't even see me undressing. Please can you just let me go Damon? Please?" I practically begged, one hand pressing against the centre of his chest.

"Uh uh." He replied with a smug grin.

I groaned loudly and stormed past him, a grimace plastered on my face as I slid into the passenger seat of Caroline's car.

"What's wrong?" She asked me, a small frown wrinkling her forehead.

"Damon's coming." I mumbled moodily.

"Damon's coming- he's coming _dress shopping_?" She clarified in astonishment.

I threw my arms up in the air and turned to look out the window, sticking my tongue out childishly when Damon wiggled his fingers at me before climbing into his own car. As we pulled out of the driveway, a sudden idea rose to mind and I hurriedly pulled my mobile from my pocket.

"Elena?" A kind, apprehensive male voice answered.

"Ric I need your help! It's nothing supernatural related, well not really anyway. It's Damon. He's insisting on baby watching me and is coming _dress shopping_ with Caroline and me. Is there any way you could meet us outside of the dress shop and take Damon off our hands for an hour or so? We could come and meet you in the Grill afterwards?" I asked desperately.

"Well he could be quite helpful, you know; he's actually pretty good with colours." He joked. "But, yeah, of course. I'll be there as soon as I can." He agreed.

"You're a life saver Ric!" I thanked him.

"Well, you can buy me a drink later. Although I doubt I'll even remember to remind you; God knows what state I'll be in after an hour of drinking with him."

I laughed and hung up, turning to Caroline triumphantly. "Ric's got us covered."

Caroline pouted. "Damn, I was just planning my move."

"Care, don't go there." I warned her.

"Why not? You said you're not into him, so why can't I take him out for a spin?" She moaned.

"Because he's an _asshole_." I answered lamely.

"Elena, the more times you say that, the less I'm inclined to believe that it's true. I think someone's in denial…" She replied with a wink.

I huffed, but decided it was probably safest to just not say anything. I did think Damon was an asshole, but not in the way I thought most assholes were assholes. Damon was an asshole for a reason and most of the time it got him where he needed to be and considering the way I'd been acting recently, I could hardly judge him. I actually _related _to him. The thought that I could relate to a vampire sent a shudder down my spine and I quickly reminded myself that I was a vampire now too. It was still a concept I struggled to admit to; vampires would always be monsters to me. I guess I just didn't even think of the Salvatores or myself as vampires; in my head we were something different.

* * *

After an hour and a half of trying on a multitude of styles and colours, I finally decided on a silk, electric blue, backless dress that hung perfectly from my curves and fell to my feet. We put the bags in the car and headed towards the Mystic Grill, Caroline nervously patting her hair down.

"Caroline, seriously, you look fine." I told her as we walked into the dimly lit building.

"It's all right for you, you've already got his attention. He already _looks _at you." She argued, her eyes scanning the room impatiently before settling on two figures at the bar.

"This better not be about Damon again." I threatened.

"He's hot Elena, so either stake your claim or let me at him." She replied.

I was about to protest when I caught a glimpse of a tall, long-legged blonde woman approaching Damon out the corner of my eye. I watched with an unpleasant sickening feeling as she draped herself over him, one of his leather-clad arms slinking casually around her waist. Either he was incredibly friendly or he knew this woman, and from personal experience I knew that only the latter could be true.

"I think someone beat you to it." I muttered quietly.

"Perfect!" Caroline groaned in annoyance.

"Sit down, I'll get us a drink." I told her, striding towards the bar with my eyes fixed on the blonde.

"Two beers please." I told the bar man, trying my best to ignore Damon's presence beside me.

"Elena, Elena, pretty Elena." Damon drawled, his words slurring slightly. "Did I not tell you that it's naughty to compel a bar man to give alcohol to school girls?"

"Damon!" I snapped in horror, my head snapping round so I could glare at him.

"Ignore him Elena, he's a dick when he's like this." Alaric muttered, knocking back a glass of amber liquid as if his life and sanity depended on it.

"Like what?" I replied, taking a quick sip of the beer I'd just been handed.

"Hurt." He answered bluntly. "He has a tendency to lash out. This is phase one; I like to call it 'Abuse and alienate everyone that cares about him'."

"Terrific." I mumbled sarcastically. I felt bad for kick starting some sort of 'episode', but the nasty smirk that spread across his face when I met his gaze quickly brought me solace.

"Elena, this is my _very _good friend Andie. Andie, this is Elena." He drawled, quite clearly amused by my displeasure. He was trying to hurt me, I got that, and I was happy to accept it; I deserved it. It was clear that he wasn't just lashing out as such, but lashing out _at me_.

"Hi." I muttered begrudgingly, my eyes flickering over to Alaric who just shrugged with a small shake of his head.

"Hi." Andie chirped with a giggle, turning to look up at Damon adoringly. Unfortunately for her though he wasn't paying attention; his eyes were still fixed intently on me.

"Try not to kill yourself on the way home." I said to him before picking up the two beer bottles and walking back to Caroline.

* * *

"What was all that about?" Caroline asked nosily in a hushed tone, as if asking some big secret.

"Nothing. Damon's drunk." I replied tonelessly, taking a long drag of alcohol.

"Huh. He's staring at you." She said quietly, tilting her head to the side when I continued to stare down at the table.

"Elena, what's going on?" She asked kindly, taking my hand in hers.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you've been MIA for a year and then you just suddenly show up out of no where, with this new look and this new personality and these new, albeit very hot, friends and you act as if the past year never even happened." She explained with a look of concern.

"I- I don't know what you want me to say." I replied quietly with a shrug.

"I just want you to tell me what happened. I mean, what happened between when your mom- when you mom died and now? No one saw you for months."

"Not much really. Grieving and healing mostly."

"And when did you meet the Salvatores?" She questioned.

"A couple of months ago maybe. I- I had some sort of weird flu and started walking around all over the place totally out of it and they found me and took me back to the boarding house until I was well enough to go home." I lied lamely.

"Right." Caroline replied, sounding unconvinced.

"I'm sorry Care, I just- I just can't really talk about it. It's not something I can talk about to anyone." I tried to explain.

"Not even to Damon?" She asked softly, her voice sounding almost timid.

My eyes flickered over to the bar unintentionally, a small smile playing on my lips when I met his gaze despite the fact he was still attached to Andie. "Why do you think I'd tell him of all people?"

"The other day when we were in the Grill, you went all weird and he was just there straight away, and he knew exactly what to do. I had no idea what was going on, yet he swooped in and fixed you before I even had time to form a coherent thought."

I turned away from Damon and looked down at my hands thoughtfully, trying to work out the best way to phrase it to her. "I don't have to tell him anything Care, he just _knows_. I don't know how to explain it, but it's like sometimes he knows what I'm feeling before I do. I don't have to put up an act in front of him because he sees right through it, most of the time anyway, and I can just be myself. He's the first person that I've been able to trust in a long time, which is why it's so fucking infuriating when he acts like this, which incidentally is ninety-eight per cent of the time. It's like, half of me wants absolutely nothing to do with him, but the other half can't bear the thought of being without him."

"So you do care about him then?" She pressed gently.

"Not as such. I'd say I depend on him a little." I replied, my stomach twisting in pain at the memory of mine and Damon's earlier conversation and the hurt look on his face. My mom had been right when she'd told me that emotional attachment was the gateway to self-destruction and the destruction of everyone around me; I felt like I was watching it all play out in slow motion. Because I'd let Damon get close to me, not only was my plan falling to pieces, but also he was suffering as a result.

"Why do you say that as if it's a bad thing?" She questioned.

"I don't want to burden him." I whispered.

"Elena, if he didn't want to help you with this, I very much doubt he would do. Damon's not exactly the giving type, so he must _want _to take care of you. He's probably stronger than you give him credit for Elena; I'm sure he can carry any weight you put on him."

"Just because he can, doesn't mean he should have to." I answered bleakly.

"Elena, you have someone that cares about you, don't push them away. What makes you so different that you should have to carry this 'burden' alone?" She challenged.

"My burden never leaves Caroline, it's an integral part of me, and so whatever weight is lifted off my shoulders is just put back on in some other form, like guilt. I'm beyond repair now, but I don't want that to happen to the rest of you. No one should have to go through the things I did or feel the way I've felt."

A small smile tugged at the corners of Caroline's lips and I watched with dismay as a tear ran down her cheek. "I'm so sorry Elena." She whispered.  
"Sorry for what? What's wrong?" I asked anxiously.

"I should have helped you." She said, her voice cracking.

"No, no, Caroline there's nothing you could have done. I promise, just being here now is more than I could have ever asked for. I never thought there would be anyone waiting for me if I made it through."

"Elena, you're my best friend, of course I waited."

"God, how did everything get so messy?" I laughed.

"Growing up sucks." She replied, joining in with my laughter.

"No it doesn't. Accepting that you're growing up is what sucks, after that it gets a whole lot easier."

"I want to go back to middle school."  
"No you don't Care, you hated middle school. You had braces and were a foot taller than most of the boys." I reminded her, a genuine smile lighting up my face at the memory.

"Oh God…" She mumbled, burying her head in her hands.

* * *

It was late when I finally got back to the boarding house, but for some reason I couldn't sleep in the gigantic bed upstairs; I felt like I was being swallowed up in it. I walked downstairs quietly in my tank top and pyjama shorts and went into the parlor in search of bourbon. I pulled out a pitcher from the cabinet and closed my eyes in pleasure as I took a swig from it, the alcohol instantly warming my chest. I turned on the stereo and started dancing around the room, sashaying around the sofas as Lykke Li's _Get Some_ blasted vociferously from it. I laughed loudly as I span around in a circle, my heavy curls fanning wildly around me, continuing to drink from the pitcher with abandonment.

"Nice." A familiar dark voice drawled from behind me.

I turned round with a yelp of surprise, my mouth forming an 'o' shape. Damon was leaning casually against the entryway, a wicked smirk plastered on his handsome face. His leather jacket was hanging over his shoulder, the muscles of his biceps showing below his black t-shirt. He looked wonderful and still drunk.

"Where's Andie?" I asked, unable to keep the bitterness from seeping into my voice.

"I sent her home." He replied casually.

"What do you mean you 'sent her home'?" I demanded with a poor imitation.

He shrugged nonchalantly and stepped down into the room, strolling towards me until he was close enough to touch. "I told her to run on home, so that's _exactly _what she did." He said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

I smacked his chest with a small giggle, even though I disagreed with the way he controlled his 'friend'. "You're awful." I told him. In truth I was just relieved that he hadn't brought her home and paraded her around, or made me spend all night listening to their 'fun'.

"Maybe, but at least I'm not as boring as broody old Stefan." He mocked.

I slapped his arm and raised my eyebrows in chastisement at him. "Don't be mean, he's your brother-" I began, my breath catching when I noticed him staring hungrily at my lips. "Damon." I said loudly in an attempt to capture his attention again.

He looked up at me lazily, his eyes now dark with desire. He tried to step closer to me, but I matched his move with a step back. A frown appeared in the centre of his forehead, his gaze falling back down to my lips. "Just once. Please." He murmured.

I swallowed thickly around the lump in my throat, my teeth grinding together as I tried to keep myself under control. My heightened emotions were crashing ruthlessly through me like a tidal wave, need and longing emanating fiercely from some unknown place inside of me. I tensed my muscles as he took another step towards me, but this time I didn't move back. His ice-blue diamonds cut into me like a knife, the heat in them somehow setting my skin on fire and sending an electric current through every nerve ending in my body. I opened my mouth to say something, but any sound that may have come out was lost as he crashed against me, suddenly kissing me with a bruising intensity. I gasped as my back slammed against something hard, quickly realising that he'd pressed me against the wall. Without breaking the kiss he pushed aside a cabinet filled with wine glasses that was apparently in his way, making a thundering crashing noise that sounded like an eruption to my heightened sense of hearing. His lips devoured me as if he was starving, his hands trying to touch everywhere all at once and I melted against him as the day's tension washed away. I knotted my hands in the front of his shirt and tugged him harder against me, smiling when I heard the soft groan resonating in his throat.

"HELLO?" I suddenly heard a deep voice bellow.

It was as if we'd been under water and suddenly crashed to the surface, everything coming back into focus again. I pushed against Damon's shoulders and slumped against the wall as his forehead fell to rest against mine, our laboured breathing mingling between us.

"Hello?" The voice, that I now recognised to be Stefan's, called again.

"This better be good brother." Damon drawled disjointedly.

"If you two are planning on keeping this up all night then can you please go and do it else where, I'm trying to sleep." He complained grumpily.

We stayed silent as Stefan stormed back upstairs; the only sound in the room our uneven breaths. After a moment I slipped out of Damon's embrace and walked back into the centre of the room, lowering myself down onto one of the couches. Damon turned round to face me but didn't follow, leaning back against the wall instead.

"Damon-" I began, stopping short when he shook his head.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." He said, his voice sounding slightly strangled.

"I kissed you back Damon." I whispered.

I watched with sad eyes as a muscle in his jaw twitched, a movement I recognised as someone holding back pain. When Damon didn't say anything I decided to ask him something that was nagging at me.

"Hey, why didn't you bring Andie home? I presume that's your usual arrangement with her."

"I'm bored of her. She doesn't interest me anymore." He murmured quietly.

I nodded silently. "Well, I think I'm going to turn in for the night. It's been a long day."

Damon stared intently into my eyes for a moment and then walked towards me, picking up the bourbon pitcher that I'd left on the table and taking a swig. "Goodnight Elena." He said softly before closing his eyes and lifting it back to his lips.

I gulped but got up and left the room without saying another word. After all, what was there that I could possibly say to him to make any of this better?

* * *

**Longest chapter yet! I hope it's okay! Thank you to everyone still reading my story and for the reviews you've been leaving me - they're really helpful when I'm writing! :) x**


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